November 6, 2017

A LinkedIn Public Service Announcement

LinkedIn. It's like Facebook for the professional world. Only lately I've seen some questionable things that required me to double check that I was indeed on LinkedIn and not on Facebook or Instagram. 

Am I the only one who misses when Instagram was photos only? Ugh. I digress.

I have 5400+ connections so a ton of posts come across my timeline. Be prepared, that translates to a ton of bitching to commence.

I don't think hashtags belong on LinkedIn. Hashtags in general are obnoxious and juvenile. *So is going to my Facebook and Instagram and screenshotting instances where I use them relentlessly. Be a grown up about this, okay?

Also, I don't think that your rabid, anti-liberal or anti- right-wing political views, nor the accompanying malevolent cartoons, are even remotely appropriate for a professional networking site. Though ISIS TV is always looking for good material I hear. 

Ya know what else Linked In is not? Tinder. It's not a hook-up site, ya damn fools! I have messages from both connections as well as completely random men. I have yet to be propositioned by a woman. 

Now wait, you'll say, only connections can contact you on LinkedIn. Well at least one person apparently thinks getting your email from your profile and emailing you directly is A-okay. Don't be that guy.

Returning to my original soap-box, I have messages ranging from, 'hey baby doll', on to 'Beautiful' and culminating in a multi-paragraph email detailing his significant feelings for me since happening upon my profile photo on LinkedIn. 

'hey baby doll' was never getting a response based on a deficit of capitalization and punctuation alone. 'Beautiful', when asked "Excuse me, what?", responded with 'Connecting is beautiful'. When I neglected to bite, he added 'And so are you'. Kudos for capitalization, points deducted for lack of punctuation and being a creep. Email Stalker Joe got blocked and when I found his profile, reported. That shit isn't acceptable at work, Harvey Weinstein, and it isn't acceptable on LinkedIn.

So, in conclusion; #stopwiththehashtags, keep your politics where you keep your religion, and create a Tinder account, moron.

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