January 16, 2017

Kid Sister

She once called in to work 'still drunk', I shit you not. 

And even better? Her boss said Okay! 

She's kinda my hero. She's got this life thing down in a way I just do not...

January 1, 2017

What Did I Accomplish in 2016?

Well, according to my phone's photo roll, I took 344 selfies. That doesn't count the ones I deleted. My face is a mask of shame right now.

I planned and lived through a wedding. Now I'm pretty sure people who have vow renewal ceremonies are fucking crazy. You can bet your ass we won't be doing that shit.

Facebook informed me that I've checked into more bars than any other establishment in 2016. To which I reply, "What's the issue?"

I ran 211 miles. Which is better than no miles but when you consider that I ran 1377 miles one year, 211 makes me a lazy mother fucker. Here's to being less lazy in 2017.

I read 37 books in 2016. I feel like I sat still for all of about 9 minutes so I'm not sure how I managed to read one but there you have it.

I saw my first Broadway show - Phantom of the Opera! I don't have a sarcastic anecdote for this achievement so I'll just leave it as a statement.

We saw four concerts - Mumford & Sons, Rob Zombie, Goo Goo Dolls, and Train. Lets just say the band wasn't the only spectacle - I got drunk at three of them and saw two cat fights at one of them. No, I was not a participant in said cat fights, thankyouverymuch. 

I visited Las Vegas, New York, and Washington D.C. Also took my first international vacation to the Dominican Republic. I got robbed and/or raped zero times so that's a win, yes?

The boys took their first airplane ride and only puked once. The Brute was closest at the time, therefore inheriting clean up duty, an occurrence I interpreted as some sort of divine intervention in my favor. A good start to a family vacation, I'd say. At least from my point of view. Not really an accomplishment of the year but a positive thing so I included it.