82 Days of Summer Vacation

Fourteen of those days the boys will be visiting grandparents in Arkansas. Seven days they will be visiting grandparents in Ohio.Two days they will be camping with Boy Scouts. I figure I can pawn them off on Kid Sister a minimum of five Saturdays throughout the summer. There are a couple other places I may be able to ship them off to but for now this is all I can count on. 

So I've got 54 days on my own. Assuming they sleep ten hours per night, that leaves 756 hours for me to survive/keep them alive. I don't like my odds.

On Day 4, Aidan and Asher decided they wanted mohawks. Not fauxhawks but old school, bad ass mohawks.  I gave Daddy a thumbs up and into the bathroom with the clippers they went. Aidan went a tad more hardcore than Asher. It's hard to be a thug when you're still wearing monkey pajamas. They're both pretty impressed with themselves.

Kids Will Tell Every Damn Thing They Know

Dentist - Do you eat a lot of candy?

Aidan - No but every single night my mom and dad eat candy while they watch tv.

Thanks for that, Aidan. 

Me - He's a damn liar!

Okay, I didn't say that but really, Aidan? That kid knows no loyalty.

Grocery List

When I was in college three things were always on the list for the grocery, which is to say they were never on the list because it was a given that I needed them; pretzels, white minute rice - Uncle Ben's only, and soy sauce.

I was a simple girl. Also, broke.

Now the things that are always on the list these days are drastically different.

Coke - because my husband has a problem.

Bacon - there is not enough bacon in this universe to satisfy these carnivores I live with.

Fruit snacks - not for who you might expect them to be for. Their father!

Veggie straws - all for me, I do not share them. Ever.

Socks - the boys are clinging to their Arkansas heritage not by going barefoot outside but in socks.

I miss the simple days of pretzels for breakfast and rice with soy sauce for lunch and dinner...

Technology Robbed Me of This Passive Aggressive Move

Ya know what I miss? I miss phones with receivers that you can slam down to emphasize that you believe the person on the other end to be a complete asshole. Somehow pushing 'End' real hard doesn't quite send that message home with the same gusto.