September 28, 2011

It's Time I Came Out of the Closet

You ready for this? Okay.

I hate shopping.

Yes, I know that's a violation of some woman code and they'll probably take away my v@g!na over it but it was time I came out with it. I think shopping sucks.

This past weekend I went shopping with the Skinny Bitch - kind of a last hurrah before the Beast and Skinny Bastard make deer widows of us. No worries, they usually come back home for the holidays. I learned something during that excursion - I now know that worse than shopping in general is shopping with skinny bitches. Like really, Let me just cut one of the legs off a pair of my yoga pants and I'll make you a tube dress out of it. Then can we be done with this shit and go get some Mexican food?

6 comments:

Texan Zombie Goddess said...

I didn't love shopping until I lost my weight, but I still need to go with someone who wants to have fun and not be all poopy. So, I should only call you when we are heading out for a Margarita lol?

VAGINA!!!!

I said that at 730 in the morning.

Crystal Renee said...

You are in my mind. I have no "plus" or fat friends to shop with close by. It sucks. I can't go into every store that the skinny bitches go into. It pisses me off. And they always complain.. I am fat! KISS MY ASS! Your mouth is the only FAT thing. I hate going shopping with them too, it just pisses me off even more. Now I am off to eat a biscuit and sausage gravy! :) Have a good day lady!

~aj~ said...

Love your parting sentiment. I don't care to be anyone's shopping buddy...but pigging out over chips and queso? I'm your girl! xoxo

Kritta22 said...

Ha ha ha yoga pants to tube dress! I love it.

What did you get to eatat the Mexican place?

Ordie O. said...

Braaahaaahaaahaaa!

Ordie O. said...

BTW, you got that hatred of shopping from your Grandmother. When you're old you'll be ordering black handbags and black SAS shoes out of catalogs so you don't have to go shopping. Just so you know.