June 7, 2011

What Did You Just Say?

Yesterday I cleaned Goodwill out of all of their books. Okay, they have a few left but I came home with 39 of them. I was a happy girl. 

And then Aidan opened his big damn mouth.

Gosh, Mom, you have a lot of chapter books. You read too many books. You need to stop reading and get some exercise.


Excuse me? What did you just say? I ran five miles this morning before you were even awake plotting your reign of terror over my life so shut the hell up!


Yeah well, you're still a couch potato. A couch potato that reads too many chapter books.

And then he took a chapter book to the back of the head as he walked away. I mean, really? I don't recall a couch in the backyard where I sit for hours every day while you swing the bat like you're having a seizure all the while rambling on about how Asher's pitches are so wild. There's no couch at the park for our three hour outings. I'm not on a couch at your baseball games - no sir, those are metal bleachers capable of scorching the skin from my body as I sit out in the blazing sun, not a shade tree in sight. I certainly do not make your breakfast, lunch, dinner, and numerous snacks throughout the day from a couch. I don't lounge on a couch while I watch you ride your scooter out front - also in the blazing hot sun, I might add. You know, for a girl who despises the heat and loves nothing more than curling up on the couch with a chapter book, I spend a helluva lot of time out in the heat, off of the couch for your little punk ass. Jerk.

6 comments:

MostlyFlumxd said...

You tell him! And while you're at it could you please tell my kids too....

Mom of the Perpetually Grounded said...

When my daughter was in kindergarten they had to make a book about their mom. For things she likes to do- "Lay on the couch and read" That was it. Nothing else. While all the other moms worked and gardened and played tennis and baked cookies and played with their kids....

I Wish I Could Lie Down and Read All Day! That was my dream world not the real one.

Unknown Mami said...

He doesn't know what he's talking about.

Penny said...

I'll hold him down and you beat him with a copy of "War And Peace"!

Anonymous said...

LOL! Oh, dear. Boys are so funny and such a pain in the ass, right?!

One day he will see all that you do and see you as Wonder Woman, though, and NOT a couch potato. He will remember his Mom always out and about, running, reading, cooking, etc. etc. etc. and think to himself, "How on Earth did she DO all of that?" Look forward to that day, 'cause it will come. :)

Lorie Shewbridge said...

I like how you smacked him in the back of the head with the book... good for you.
Reading in the summer by the pool or on our balcony is one of my favorite pastimes. =)