I heard the world was going to end May 21 at 5pm. Being the glass half full kind of girl I am, I thought to myself Self, if the world ends on Saturday, you won't have to run that race that sounded like such a good idea when you signed up. It's 9pm on May 21. The race is still on for 8am tomorrow. Son of a bitch!!! I don't know what my problem is. I run more than a 5K three times a week, this really isn't a big deal. Still, it's safe to assume I'm probably going to puke at some point before the race starts.
In an attempt to get my mind off all of this ridiculousness I decided to shop for new running stuff. Which led me face to face with my new mortal enemy - the elastic stay put *ahem, bullshit!* headband. These damn things will. not. stay. on my head. Do I have a large head? Is it abnormally shaped? What the hell?!?! I don't want to wear a baseball cap but can't just wear a ponytail because my hair falls out of it. Like I need another thing to worry about. It'll be all I can do to not come in dead last tomorrow. I feel this an appropriate time to say 'fuck my life'.
In the event you never hear from me again, console yourself knowing that I died knowing I was right when I said this running shit is going to kill me. And you've got the Skinny Bitch to thank for it. G'nite!