May 4, 2011

My Volunteer Career May Be Short Lived

Saturday afternoon I found myself in Petsmart with two little shih tzus at an adoption event with a local shelter. You'll remember that last time I was doing this my dog shit in the store mere minutes after we came in from a bathroom break outside - the little bastard. This time around was a little better in some regards and a little worse in others. 

Better in that my dog wasn't rumored to be a child killer and worse in that this time when my dog shit in the store I actually threw up.

Oh yes, I vomited in Petsmart. Y'all, whatever the substance that erupted from the ass of that sweet looking dog was was about sixteen different kinds of wrong. I'm truly worried for her health. 

I'm gagging just thinking about it. 

This a reoccurring issue with me. In fact I vomited not five minutes after meeting one of our neighbors. Right in front of her.

She came to the door thinking that a large black dog roaming around outside was Lexi. I stepped out into the yard with her while we tried to get him to come to us. Out of nowhere the dog stopped and vomited up what seemed like 6 gallons of thick, mushy, brown puke. We watched in horror as it spread out over the pristine white snow. And that's when I threw up. Right there in our yard, four minutes after meeting the new neighbor. Again, we both watched in horror as the puke spread out over the pristine white snow. I really know how to make an impression, hu? She mainly nods and waves now. I don't think she'll be coming over for any cook outs.


Texan Zombie Goddess said...

Must you describe in detail lol??????

~aj~ said...

I apologize for finding humor in your misfortunate, but dadgum it if this post isn't hilarious. :)

Anonymous said...

Hahahahahahahahaha!!! That is awesome. Especially you vomiting. You should bake her something and take it to her. I'm sure she won't touch it, she'll be thinking of the vomit. Hahahahahaha!

Ordie O. said...

You are a mess. But seriously, you puked from Shih-tzu poop? It's so nice and hard and round and dry. What's there to puke over about that? Then again, you've always sorta been a puker, haven't you?

Lorie Shewbridge said...

Sometimes the doggies puke will make me feel like puking, too, so I understand. I'm not so bad with the poopies though.
I'm sorry I laughed at your misery.

Brenda Susan said...

OMG! Please stop, I am trying not to gag right now!