April 21, 2011

You Got WHAT From Me?!?!

I woke up to a flurry of emails, texts, and calls asking why I sent an email with no subject containing only a porn link at 5am.

Really, guys? *eyeroll* Let's take this step by step.

For one, I think I'm pretty good about putting a subject in the subject space. I like to prepare my audience for what I have planned for them. However I am not good at removing the 6000 Re:'s two hours into an email conversation. I figure that should be the other party's duty. I have a bit of a delegatory personality type. It works for me. Anyway, no subject = your first clue.

Next, have I ever, in all the time we've corresponded via email, forwarded porn to you? Note: even if I had, I certainly did not CC my grandmother. Now assuming I did forward you and my grandmother porn, I would have at the very least warned you to make sure children weren't around. What? I'd totally be a conscientious porn distributor! Porn link = clue #2

Lastly, yet probably the most blatant warning sign, the 5am time-stamp. You guys should have seen that and immediately thought Damn, Amanda got hacked, no way is she up at 5am. Not even for porn. And you'd have been right. 5am time-stamp = clue #3.

I am somewhat surprised to have to ask this question but Who, in this day and age, actually clicks on a link in a suspicious email like that? I'll own up to allowing my account to get hacked but you're gonna have to shoulder a little bit of the burden for clicking the link. I'm just sayin'...

Something that is not helpful while I am frantically running scans on my computer and changing passwords all over the damn internet? Sixteen replies to said email containing said link which may or may not be carrying the virus I am desperately trying to eradicate. It's just counterproductive. Also irritating.

And finally, people, use the BCC feature when you send your uplifting messages and pictures of kittens in trees to everyone in your contact list. That's Blind Carbon Copy, folks, it means you can spam encourage your friends without sharing their personal email address with all of them and all of their friends when they, in turn, spam encourage them, and so on and so forth. Or, ya know, just don't send me that shit in the first place. Honestly, I have crazy pills to encourage me.
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