January 7, 2011

The Truth Is

I can't stand little dogs. There have been exactly two that I have ever even tolerated. I figure if you're gonna have a dog, get a damn dog for crying out loud. I can't take you seriously with a dog like that.

If you leave your children with me, I let them get away with murder. I'm pretty much not going to discipline your kid. I want them to like me. But you better damn well keep mine in line.

Regardless of warnings against wearing earphones while running, I still listen to my music. I'm not out there to fuckin' commune with nature, okay? I only get through it because I've got music to distract me from the fact that I'm doing something I've avoided like oral surgery for the better part of my 31 29 years. I wear a reflective vest, don't push it.

When I get pitches to share a new coddling parenting technique here on the blog and they ask me shit like "isn't raising kids the most blissful experience you could ever imagine?" it's really all I can do not to ask if they mean "kids" as in baby goats because that could explain the difference in our respective feelings on the experience.

Aidan got grounded from his DS and everything else from which he could possibly experience joy for, well,  I'm still too scared to ask my husband how long. Let's just say his old rage issues surfaced while he was at a friend's or ex-friend's? house earlier this week. Anyway, I play the thing on and off all day long. It's still my favorite Christmas gift :)

6 comments:

Brandy Rose said...

"blissful experience"? Hopefully thats just sarcasm on their part...

Penny said...

People...normal, human people, who actually *have* children...have asked you that? For real? I feel...dirty inside...

Stacie's Madness said...

after years of cleaning up a "real sized dog's" shit, I am all for the little ones...easier to mow over their rat turds.

Heather said...

Hi I found you on an old BSF from One Crazy Brunette... I am now a new follower. I hope you can take some time to visit me http://teensntoddlers.blogspot.com/
and if you choose to follow, Fabulous!

Opto-Mom said...

I thought raising kids was about the same thing as raising goats. They are both messy, smelly, and have no conscience. Blissful, my ass!

And I don't like little squirrely dogs either. I don't mind a big, fluffy, floppy-eared mutt outside my house, though.

Lorie Shewbridge said...

These people who pitch you these coddling ideas, have they READ your blog???
Little dogs are wonderful... and if you add all mine together, it's like having one big dog. All together they weigh about 65 lbs.
HUGS!!