January 31, 2011

Death of a Blog

I do believe I've committed a blog-sin. I...

are you ready for this?

... deleted my Twitter account.

Yes, I did! 

I also pulled my profile from some forums and blog networks. I think I'm on my way outta here! I keep just not blogging. Things are happening - funny things even - still I don't write. It may have run it's course for me. Or not, I haven't decided. I might write 6 posts today cuz that's just like me.

Nananana booboo!!!

January 24, 2011

Another Sunday Goes Down In Flames

Parental note to self: Do not place large wooden swing set at the bottom of a huge sledding hill. Also, decline offers from neighbor kids to lend your kids their faster sleds.

Asher ended up with a freakin' hole in his face yesterday afternoon. He cried some at home and on the way to the hospital but not once after we got there. Mostly he just smiled his beautiful smile.
 He allowed Aidan on the bed with him while we waited for the dr.
 Aidan passed the time by hamming it up.
 Asher watched some cartoons.
 Finally they started stitching him up and he fell asleep in the middle of it. Yes, he fell asleep!
He got a chocolate sundae for dinner and then proceeded to fight with Aidan for the rest of the evening. Clearly a hole in the face can't curb sibling rivalry.

January 23, 2011

English 101

Let's begin today's class with irregardless. Okay, technically it is a word but it is an illogical one. The prefix ir means 'not' and the suffix less means 'without' therefore creating a double negative within the word (thank you Wikipedia!). Now I may have spent my formative years down south but even I know double negatives are a no-no. I'd like to take this opportunity to declare that y'all and ain't are words no matter what a yankee might believe.

When expressing your lack of emotion over something please say I couldn't care less rather than I could care less. I could care less is saying that you do, in fact, care. That little n't contraction is very important in this scenario.

Let's move on to writing, shall we? There are enormous differences in the meanings of the words their, there, and they're. Same with you're and your. And with through and threw.

Class dismissed!

January 22, 2011

Oh, So That's How It's Gonna Be?

Soooo, we can't shovel snow into the street, via some city code, but the city can plow snow into our driveway. Hmmm... Ya know, I'm married to  kind of a big deal in city government, can we get some special treatment or something? I truly don't have a problem with the unfairness of a situation like that.

January 19, 2011

Who's Back?

I'm back! Thank you sweet baby Jesus, I am in possession of a computer, I have access to the internetz, and there is a national shortage on my crazy pills. It's on like Donkey Kong, ya'll!

January 17, 2011

Now You've Pissed Me Off

Dear Random Ad/Sponsored Post Pitcher,

Look, I know you are in a hurry, you want to quickly get as many pitches out as possible. Could you take just a second to address the pitch to me, Amanda, and not to Anna. It stings just a little to get an email to her. I understand how it happens, you scan the blog for a name, you see "Anna" up top and you assume that's the name of the author. You know what they say about assuming...Take two seconds to be sure, okay? On a related note, maybe read just one post here. Any post, really. Pretty much any random post will clue you in to the fact that this isn't where you want to put an ad for The Joy of Parenting or write a post on fun crafts to do with your kids seven days a week. This isn't that blog. Another thing you'd know if you actually read this blog.

Amanda, not Anna, author of this anti-sticky sweet mommy blog

January 14, 2011

I Hate Blogging By Phone

1wk w/o a computer. I miss it but not enough to rush to get another. I see big changes coming to my online lifestyle, blogging, tweeting, wasting time coming.

January 10, 2011

Lexi Darlin'

We had to put Lexi to sleep yesterday and my heart hurts. I miss her.

January 8, 2011

Looks like Martians is on hiatus. Blame my laptop, it's being mean to me! See ya in a week or so, the computer gods willing. Peace out!

January 7, 2011

I'm Sorry, No Time To Blog Anymore

I spend way too much time on Youtube laughing until my fucking face hurts. Tears, man. There are tears running down my face right now, I can barely type. These parents are my heroes! I wanna BE them when I grow up. Look out Aidan and Asher, I'm finding all kinds of crap to do to you two.

"What is wrong with you!!!!"

The Truth Is

I can't stand little dogs. There have been exactly two that I have ever even tolerated. I figure if you're gonna have a dog, get a damn dog for crying out loud. I can't take you seriously with a dog like that.

If you leave your children with me, I let them get away with murder. I'm pretty much not going to discipline your kid. I want them to like me. But you better damn well keep mine in line.

Regardless of warnings against wearing earphones while running, I still listen to my music. I'm not out there to fuckin' commune with nature, okay? I only get through it because I've got music to distract me from the fact that I'm doing something I've avoided like oral surgery for the better part of my 31 29 years. I wear a reflective vest, don't push it.

When I get pitches to share a new coddling parenting technique here on the blog and they ask me shit like "isn't raising kids the most blissful experience you could ever imagine?" it's really all I can do not to ask if they mean "kids" as in baby goats because that could explain the difference in our respective feelings on the experience.

Aidan got grounded from his DS and everything else from which he could possibly experience joy for, well,  I'm still too scared to ask my husband how long. Let's just say his old rage issues surfaced while he was at a friend's or ex-friend's? house earlier this week. Anyway, I play the thing on and off all day long. It's still my favorite Christmas gift :)

January 5, 2011

I Finally Enjoyed Football

For the life of me I haven't been able to get into football. I can call the Hogs like nobody's business and they've been known to break my heart but that all comes purely from home state pride - something about not taking Arkansas out of the girl. He was born and bred in Ohio so last night when the Buckeyes met the Hogs in the Sugar Bowl, our marriage went down in proverbial flames - much like the first 3 quarters of the Razorback's game play. It was all in good fun though. My Arkansas friends on Facebook made my night.

Also adding to the enjoyment of the evening, the Allstate commercials. This one specifically because our GPS hates us so it hit close to home. I thought I'd piss my pants laughing!

January 4, 2011

Having Not Watched Brad's Previous Season

2 hours and all I can say is What the Sam Fuck is wrong with Vampire Girl? What a dumbass! Girls, the first impression gimmicks are lame so knock it off, mkay? Oh, and Brad was hotter when he was the one Bachelor in history who had some fucking integrity. Now? Not so much. But anyone is better than Luke or Duke or Jack or whatever his name was.

P.S. Who else saw the Scarlett Johansson and Hilary Swank look-alikes?

P.P.S. Who else is blissfully enjoying the Ali-less-ness of this season?

January 1, 2011

If I Didn't Know Better

I'd think I was knocked up or something. Gawd, I'm such a freakin' crybaby, girl lately! Gettin' all teary over dumb shit all the time. The commercial where they let the soldier board the plane first and the old man stands and salutes her? Oh my God, it's all over for me. Tornadoes thrashing through my home state of Arkansas on New Years Eve? I'm bawling. A friend of my sister's, whom I've never even met, had a bad car accident and he eventually died this weekend - I'm beside myself over it. The end of Toy Story 3? Who the F cries over Toy Story? Facebook updates, songs, even stupid reality TV shows on Discovery... I'm kinda starting to annoy myself with this teary eyed shit.