December 10, 2010

I Am THAT Mom

You know, the one in her curlers, bathrobe, and slippers at the bus stop? 

Only worse.

Aidan was being a sweetheart and riding the bus to school "because Mama's leg hurts and she's kind of a baby". Several minutes after he left I noticed his lunchbox on the counter. So Asher and I jumped in the Jeep and tore down the road to the bus stop. The last of the kids were getting on the bus, Hell yeah, I made it! so I slammed it in park and ran, waving the lunch box and hollaring as only a woman who absolutely does not want to have to drive all the way to the damn school to drop off a lunch box can run. As the bus pulled away and I was feeling all smug Score! I'm freakin' fantabulous!  and then it dawns on me, No, Amanda, you're a sad stereotype. Let me make the rest of the picture clear for you. It's 11 damn degrees, not only am I not wearing a coat but just a very thin t-shirt with a 3 day old hot chocolate stain and no bra. I feel the need to reiterate here that it's 11 damn degrees. No shoes, not even slippers, only goofy striped toe socks. There were no curlers but a hairbrush had yet to grace my scalp either and I'm pretty sure the jogging pants I was wearing had a big glob of toothpaste on the left ass cheek. Whew, I was smokin' hot, ya'll!
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