December 12, 2010

Barbara Walters Inspired This Post

While watching this Barbara Walters takeover of my Thursday night TV, a thought crossed my mind. How'd you like to be Oprah's duplex neighbor? My heart quickens at the thought. And not because how fucking cool would that be but because I don't know what it is about that woman but she terrifies me. I may have mentioned this before, my fear of balloons and China are one thing but the way I feel about this person I have zero chance of ever coming into close physical proximity to is as real as the Spanx in my underwear drawer. It's not rational and I don't understand it myself but there it is, another shining indication that maybe I should be throwing the $.86 per day I'm raking in from this blog into therapy rather than ordering more paperbacks from Amazon.com. 

Another thought? Is it just me or did Barbara seem a tad jealous of Betty White? Go back and watch it again, there's some animosity there. Also, I couldn't possibly care any less about Justin Bieber and I'm kinda proud that I've never watched an episode of Jersey Shore. I'm feeling pretty smug about that Jersey Shore part. For real. 
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