November 16, 2010

It Started Out Simple Enough

We were not those parents who had monthly pictures of their kids taken at a studio. Not necessarily because we didn't want the photos but because our children are defiant, uncooperative, stubborn ass little mules and the odds of getting even one good pose before we were escorted off the premises weren't good. That's the information that is vital to appreciate the rest of this story.

Daddy wanted a professional photo of Asher for his office now that he has Aidan's school photo. I blew him off for a couple of weeks but he wouldn't let it go. So I booked an appointment at JC Penny. And then promptly cancelled after research revealed that I likely wasn't getting out of there for less than $200. We ended up at the old standby - Wal-Mart. Gag.

I changed the boys' clothes eleven times thanks to Aidan's aversion to jeans or anything that doesn't scream drunk, color blind hobo. Also, he talked the whole morning about refusing to take a picture. Asher was excited. Then we get there and we couldn't get Aidan out from in front of the camera. Asher, my less-asshole kid, gave. us. hell.  Finally, FINALLY we got some shots, whittled them down to the favorites, and began getting raped talking price.

$200! Really, Wal-Mart? Isn't your shtick some shit about low prices? Do you forbid employees from mentioning promotions or specials? Because as I'm whipping out my card I look up to see 30 Portraits for only $7.99! Oh, well that's just for one pose, no enhancements. says the rapist photographer. Oh, so it's only for  e x a c t l y  what I came here for? And now I've got 10 sheets with 10 poses, a CD, and 10 Christmas photo cards for two hundred fucking dollars. Oh, I see. Soon the Mr calls and I tell him the story, including price, and wait for the wrath. Only I heard no wrath because he couldn't speak. As we were leaving the store I am just seething. How did I let this happen? So I went back and said I want to pick one pose of Asher and get 30 of them for the $7.99. 

Oh, no can do. 

Why the hell not? I know they haven't been printed yet. 

No, but they've been processed. I can give you 10% off. 

I want all but $7.99 off. 

Can't. 

Give me a break, it can't be impossible to cancel my order. 

It is. How about 15% off? 

How about 40% off? 

20%. 

25%. 

Ok.

I got $50 of my dignity back. I hate Wal-Mart.
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