November 11, 2010

I Gots No Style

As a kid I really thought by age 31 29 I would naturally be stylish and trendy and, well, not a goofy, leggy, awkward kid. Didn't happen that way.

Once in 2001 my hair was trendy. Courtesy of a chemical haircut, I donned short, short hair for the first time since elementary school when my mother took me right before school started to a butcher who apparently thought I was a boy based on the "style" she gave me. Yes, I'm still hung up on that, Mom. Since then it has not gotten below my shoulders and has been very close to pixie cut a few times. It's close to my shoulders now and I'm trying really hard not to chop it off. I do however, change the color quite often so it's not totally boring.

I still wear boot cut jeans because I despise skinny jeans. I know they are better to wear with snazzy boots but I don't wear those either. I know they say skinny jeans flatter any shape or size. I'm betting "they" are skinny little shits and therefore have no idea what flatters my fat ass and what doesn't.

I don't wear dresses. I have exactly 2 skirts - a khaki one but it's maternity and a black one that I did wear over the summer quite often. That is until I saw a photo of myself in it. Why does my mirror insist on lying to me?

I don't wear funky necklaces or gawdy chic rings. I try but I end up looking like a 6 year old who broke into her mom's jewelry box. I almost never change my earrings. I only wear my wedding ring and sometimes a simple platinum band on my pinkie. And by sometimes I mean when my fingers don't resemble sausage links. Which translates to not very damn often! 

I told you that I've been perusing numerous fashion blogs. More specifically, curvy girl fashion. And apparently it is acceptable to call it FATshion. Really? Why do they have to go there? Anyway, a few of my favorites are Curvy Girl Chic, Frocks and Frou Frou, Madison Plus, Fashion Bananas, and God's Favorite Shoes. FATale Fashion is where it all started. How freaking cute is she? There is a down side to looking at these blogs, I become super aware of how un-cute I am. And un-stylish. I'm most comfortable in my black yoga pants and a long sleeved t-shirt. When I leave the house I 'dress up' in jeans.  Could I be any more mom-ish? Will I always be this mom-ish?
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