Translation:
The B word is bitch
The SH word is shit
The S word is stupid
The P word is piss
then he just went on and practiced his spelling words.
That kid cracks me up!
Oh, Amanda, you think you know what's going to happen and how it's going to happen and when it's going to happen but you don't know shit. I know, hard to comprehend but it's true, my love.
You are not fat. Not yet. You will know fat in the years to come but right now, you're smokin'. Wear the bikini!
It's already too late to stop you from getting into it but you should get out of the relationship you're in NOW. You will wish you had. You will waste years. You will postpone things that he is not worth postponing for. I'm right about this.
You are going to have kids. I know, you think there's no way in hell but they are coming. It's not as bad as you think it will be. It's worse. Just a little something to look forward to.*wink wink*
Sweetheart, do not wear that Peaches-n-Cream shirt. Just don't.
Only a few of your girlfriends will still be your girlfriends in 15 years but you will meet ladies that you will get equally close to in a few years. The kind that holds your hair back while you puke. The good kind.
Your husband is going to be hawt and your kids will be too damn cute. Which is why you don't kill them.
Since I am you, I know you so I know you are not going to listen to anything I'm telling you. You're a stubborn jackass. That's one thing that will never change about you. Just consider it part of your charm. Okay, you are released to continue doing dumb shit now. Have fun! It all turns out okay anyway.
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