October 23, 2010

Uncool

I am officially the most uncool person alive. 

Saturday night at 8pm, what am I doing? Not sprucing up for a date with my husband. Not gulping sipping margaritas with girlfriends. Not even taking advantage of kiddie bedtime to watch a non-animated movie. No, I went for a run.

Oh yeah, I donned my 12 year old tennis shoes, borrowed a reflective vest from Skinny Bitch, and clipped a retarded looking mini-light to the bill of my Razorback's cap and ran. And as usual, by run I mean I went slightly faster than a walk. Still...

Funny story; a deer tried to kill me while I was out. No, really. I was running along the path, earbuds in with music loud enough to give me a bit of hearing damage, possibly audibly panting, kind of on a roll. Apparently I drift as I run Maybe that's why little old ladies on bikes yell at me? and as I veered over to the right edge of the path there is movement out the corner of my eye. I turned toward it and a fucking doe is standing 12 inches from me. She scared the SHIT out of me! I screamed and tripped over my feet and planted my face on the ground. Three other does ran away but the offending bitch just stood there and looked at me. I think I saw her roll her eyes before she very casually moseyed off. Because clearly the only danger I pose is to myself.

6 comments:

Penny said...

That does NOT make you uncool, but dedicated to a life change that you will make you one hell of a hot momma! I respect that!!!!

Anonymous said...

Aw Penny, you stroke my ego so well! Put your dang email on your profile so I can say thanks right away and let you know how big my head is getting because of it :)

Brenda Susan said...

Wellll, if deer are rolling their eyes at you? I don't know, that does sound pretty uncool!

Anonymous said...

HAHAHAHAHA!! If only you'd had a camera clipped to your hat instead of a light! THAT would have been hysterical to see! - Of course I wouldn't have laughed until after I knew you were okay.. Promise! -

Opto-Mom said...

It's just a little doe eyed deee-ah! (That was my Marisa Tomei impression. Did ya like it?)

Anonymous said...

Bwahaahaha, Amanda!!!! This is hilarious!!!! I hate getting such a good laugh at your expense, but honestly. What did you think that deer was going to do to you? Go all Tommy Boy on your ass? ;o)

Please tell me you've seen Tommy Boy. If you haven't, you need to see this clip: http://movieclips.com/ALej-tommy-boy-movie-the-deer-wakes-up/