October 23, 2010

Uncool

I am officially the most uncool person alive. 

Saturday night at 8pm, what am I doing? Not sprucing up for a date with my husband. Not gulping sipping margaritas with girlfriends. Not even taking advantage of kiddie bedtime to watch a non-animated movie. No, I went for a run.

Oh yeah, I donned my 12 year old tennis shoes, borrowed a reflective vest from Skinny Bitch, and clipped a retarded looking mini-light to the bill of my Razorback's cap and ran. And as usual, by run I mean I went slightly faster than a walk. Still...

Funny story; a deer tried to kill me while I was out. No, really. I was running along the path, earbuds in with music loud enough to give me a bit of hearing damage, possibly audibly panting, kind of on a roll. Apparently I drift as I run Maybe that's why little old ladies on bikes yell at me? and as I veered over to the right edge of the path there is movement out the corner of my eye. I turned toward it and a fucking doe is standing 12 inches from me. She scared the SHIT out of me! I screamed and tripped over my feet and planted my face on the ground. Three other does ran away but the offending bitch just stood there and looked at me. I think I saw her roll her eyes before she very casually moseyed off. Because clearly the only danger I pose is to myself.
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