October 5, 2010

Compare To Die

The boys and I are in Arkansas again for a week. I haven't had to accost anyone's pen!s with tweezers yet this trip so already we're a little ahead of the game, that's a plus. 

The cousins are in a constant state of hyperactivity. Since their dramatic reunion in which I kid you not, they ran across the room into each-other's arms like a scene from The Notebook, a schizophrenic school age version of UFC has been raging - there's kicking, slapping, spitting, hitting, punching, pinching and biting and then 14 seconds later they're playing tag. It makes for good, free entertainment. Mostly. I, myself, took a couple kicks to the head, a Viking helmet horn to the ass, and got whipped in the face with a pair of jeans  during a tussle with Aidan, Jayden, and Julyan but in the end I handed them their asses. 15 minutes later I guess Julyan wasn't willing to let it go just yet so he came up behind me while I sat on the steps of the deck and shoved me. I pantsed him in a flash and went back to my business. 2 seconds later I hear Kid Sister say Whoa! No, no, no, give me that! And I turn around to see her taking a 700 page hard cover book from his raised hands. Little shit was gonna whack me with it! Maybe I didn't spawn the most diabolical children on the planet after-all.

Diabolical or not, Jayden and Julyan, are crackin' me up, ya'll! Just a few quotes from them...

Julyan after becoming sick to death of Asher copying everything anyone says in what I can only assume is an attempt to drive us all to the brink of insanity - "Aunt Amanda, Asher's coffing me! HE WON'T QUIT COFFING MEEEEEEEEE!"

Jayden in the midst of a Super Hero Battle between all the boys clad in old Halloween costumes - "Don't move or muscle! Compare to DIE!"

Jayden when trying to explain when some specific thing happened - "You know, earlier in the light time, when Aunt Amanda was in a mood?"  Pffft, like that narrows the time frame down any *eyeroll*


Opto-Mom said...

If the little shit tries to hit you with anything else, just tell him to "compare to die!" LMAO

Have someone contact your blog buddies if you don't make it out alive. We would like to send donations to the "Victims of Wild Children Run Amok Fund."

Anonymous said...

OMG.. You are my family! This sounds like my house, like my family get togethers.. I LOVE IT! I no longer feel the social outcast.. Thank you Sissy, thank you very much.. (I said that last part sounding like Elvis, just in case you were curious..)

Lorie Shewbridge said...

You know, after reading the rest of the story, you could have left out the first sentence:
"The boys and I are in Arkansas again for a week."
I'm sorry... I had to say that, it just sounded so funny when the next part of the paragraph talks about your experience with the penis & the tweezers. (Boy are your freaky followers gonna have fun with those search words!)
Glad you are having fun with your family. HUGS!!