September 22, 2010

What's Another Word For Random? Fortuitous. This Post Is Fortuitous.

When the whole idea of a new blog came up in my head, I thought to myself, "Self, this could be your chance to distance real life you from blog you." So I started the process and eventually came to my Facebook. Not really surprisingly, a mass delete session is very therapeutic. Just hovering over the X on someone you'd really like to delete but just don't want to deal with the fallout over actually doing so is really the next best thing.

Speaking of the new blog, I really want to name it I'm An Epic Asshole, You've Been Warned. Or just Fuuuuuuck! That's got a nice ring to it, don'tcha think?

We started buying Aidan some long pants and jeans for school. I'm over the whole let him pick out his own clothes bullshit because really, the kid has no style. And also may be color blind. Of course he can't wear the pants yet because 1, it's still 80 degrees most days and 2, we have to have a full foot of length cut off of them first. This presents a problem because I'm also challenged in the sewing area of being a woman. Oh, I have a sewing machine. A nice one. I can't thread the mother fucker. Forget sewing a straight line, I have no idea if I can do that or not. Now I'm awaiting my mother in law's next visit. Here, hem up 15 pair of pants while you're on vacation. Also, your son wants some homemade dumplings for dinner. Gracias!

Ok, show of hands, er, comments, whatever, who's reading me but not doing their duty by actually following me on Google? You know, that little box over there that shows how much I'm loved? I'm not feeling it. The last time Mr remarked about my unpopularity was almost a year ago. I've made precious little progress since then considering this blog has had 81,000 unique hits during that time. Now I'm no math whiz but shit's not adding up, capeesh? For reals, have I not adequately portrayed how my self esteem is all wrapped up in numbers? I don't have time to go into it again right now so just go click Follow, kaythanksbye.


Ordie O. said...

You know you can take them to the cleaners, at least here in the big city, and get them altered. It's pretty cheap I think. Cheaper than new pants. Oh,wait. They are new pants.

Texan Zombie Goddess said...

Wait a minute!! You said that the title couldn't have cuss words! That is so no fair lol!!

Ariana said...

I'm an avid follower! You are HILARIOUS...basically you're the mom I'm going to be in a few years...totally love you!

Izzy, Emmy 'N Alexander said...

I lurk because sometimes I am just too lazy to comment, but I am here. Occasionally. lol! I love come to your blog, especially when I'm having a bad day. I need to create a blog where I can swear and really say what's on my mind without the hassle of knowing my mother and every other family member I know is reading. haha! Keep up the good work! :)

Teisha said...

1. I vote Fuuuuuuuck! - definitely has a good ring to it.
2. I don't own nor will I ever own a sewing machine. That is what MIL's are for. That, and cooking the turkey at Thanksgiving cause NOT IT.
3. I follow already so do I get a prize or something?

Anonymous said...

Corazon, yep, I said no curse words in the title or tagline but a girl can dream, can't she? By the way, put your email addy in so I can cleverly reply to your comments immediately!

Unknown said...

luv u 2 pqh

Unknown said...

Luv u 2 pqh

Lorie Shewbridge said...

You know I've been one of your groupies for a long time now.
I was also going to say what Corazon said, you told us we couldn't suggest dirty words for the title of your new blog.
I don't know how to sew either and I don't have a sewing machine and never will. Heck, I don't even iron... that gets done by the dry cleaners and so does my alterations.
Can't wait to hear about your MIL's final, I mean, next visit.