August 19, 2010

This Could Explain My Bouts Of Uncontrollable Rage

We went downtown in Omaha on Sunday. Found a spot 2 blocks away from where we were going. Put several quarters in the meter. Got where we were going. Kids acted like assholes, we left. Several quarters wasted. Kids decide to try to act normal, I found another spot. Put several quarters in. Get to where we're going. Find out that you don't have to feed the meter on Sundays. Fan-fucking-tastic!

Also? The time and place that God does not bless - pick up time at school. I should totally be runnin' shit, that's all I can say about that.

Oh, oh! Let's not forget about birthday party planning for Asher's 3rd birthday. Now, first off, I'm not thrilled about him turning 3. For one, once he's 3, it's 5 bucks to take him to see a movie instead of free. Costs $4 to ride the Sky-Fari at the zoo instead of free. $9 to go to the Children's Museum instead of, you guessed it, free. I dig free, it's way more my style. As far as decorations... I started shopping early considering what happened last time. The decor will be Dinosaurs. No, of course there are no dino decorations at Wal-Mart. Or Target. Or the shitty little party store close to us. I'd just like to know who exactly the hell I killed in a previous life. 

And finally, the Home Owners Association of our development - of which I am now the Vice President of. I KNOW! They have no idea what they've unleashed upon themselves. Much more on that soon. I smell a blog series coming - possibly entitled something like HOA, Are You Fucking Kidding Me Right Now? or HOA, They've All Been Lobotomized. So much blog fodder potential! 


Unknown said...

My husband and I were on the tram on our way into Disneyland and a group seated in front of us had a little girl. One of the female adults (not sure if it was mom or auntie, etc.) asked the girl, "how old are you?" The girl replied with a simple "3". Then the woman asked the girl, "but how old are you at Disneyland?" Without missing a beat and with the same inflection as she responded before she simply said "2". It was quite the performance. Maybe some acting classes are in order for your son ;)

Ordie O. said...

Janet did that Homeowners Association thing. You'll be an asset, as she was.

Teisha said...

Your first paragraph deserves an Emmy or whatever award people get for writing good quality shit.

Sandra said...

~laughing~ You're so funny, I love you! And I'm all about the blogging fodder. It's the only reason I'm currently on vacation with my kids!

Lorie Shewbridge said...

I was so proud of you for starting your birthday shopping early, then I kept reading... sucks to be you!
I like free, too, it's my favorite four-letter-word, kind of different from yours. Just think, only 50 or so years until he can start getting his senior discount, that's what Bill & I look for. It's my perk for being married to an older man.

Former Fat Chick said...

I think my kids had beard stubble when I finally gave in and paid "adult" prices for them....come on you can pass for a 12 year old (on steroids)