June 30, 2010

To Whom It May Concern

Dear ABC,
I'm sure you're familiar with the BLEEP to cover profanity? May I suggest you utilize the BEEP when Ali laughs from now on? In fact, I'm going to have to insist. I mean really, that laugh is SO annoying!

Dear Ali,
Stop laughing. Kthxbye.

Dear Justin,
Buh-bye. Sorry you got busted out cuz I think you dumping Ali at the final 3 would have been like the best blog fodder ever. 

Dear Craig,
Buh bye. Not sorry you got booted. I know the olive oil was what made you literally greasy but I found you "greasy" long before that scene. 

Dear Roberto,
*swoon*

Dear Ty,
Your time's comin'. And you should be glad because Ali and you aren't gonna work out.

Dear Chris,
I can't remember what you did this episode. So rock on.

Dear Kirk,
Again, I can't remember what you did this episode. So, again, rock on.

Dear Frank,
Soooooo, you collapse in on yourself every time you see Ali with one of the other guys. But it seems you make it pretty far down the line and Ali falls for you and then you dump her for an old girlfriend you still have feelings for. Hmmm. YESSS! We couldn't count on Justin to pull it off but damn if we ever saw it coming from you. That is going to be a fantastic episode!

Dear Self,
Stop watching this shit.
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