June 1, 2010

This Is War, MotherF***ker

You know about the inappropriate amount of rage I carry towards flies, right?  I now have a new enemy.  Birds.  This all my neighbor's fault. They saw me go over to her house, where she told me about her war with them under her deck.  Now, in retaliation, the bastards have turned their attention to me and my house.  The little sons-a-bitches are trying to build a nest under our front porch.  They suck at it because all they actually manage to do is drop mud, grass, twigs, and their weight in shit onto the top step. 


Go back underneath the neighbor's deck!

9 comments:

bernthis said...

They always seem to drop their load on my newly washed car. Never fails, little bastards

Stacie's Madness said...

hahah classic.

Unknown Mami said...

Geeze, I hope those birds read your blog.

Ordie O. said...

Don't you dare hurt those little birds.

Fresh Mommy said...

Haha, well... maybe one of them will read this and freak out. You never know. I'm just sayin'...

The Empress said...

Oh, over here, too.

I called the nature reserve and they told me it's "breeding season" and that's why they divebomb us whenever we leave the house...

MoonNStarMommy said...

Oooooooh nooooooooos .... someone is gonna get it!!!

Lorie Shewbridge said...

You know, you really don't have to be mean... if you'd just ask them nicely to please not poop on your porch. :-)
It actually worked once for me in a store parking lot, the birds shit on the car next to mind, but not on mine after I asked them to please not poop on my car while I was shopping.

Kritta22 said...

Target practice!!! Excellent!