June 25, 2010

I Lie But For A Very Good Reason

I tell people that I don't answer the phone because there's always a kid screaming and I can text thru screaming.

That's not entirely true.

It's true that there's always a kid screaming but that's not why I don't answer. I don't want to answer because I fancy myself much more eloquent via text. Or email. And by eloquent, I mean less like a blubbering idiot. This would also be the reason I do not and will not ever "vlog". The closest I come is my voice on the videos I take of the boys and I cringe to hear even that. I hate talking on the phone unless it's my sister or my folks - there is no doubt left in their minds of my idiot-ness, nothing to betray there. My 13 year old self would clutch her heart dramatically and fall to the floor at that rejection of the all important telephone but it's true. I like to communicate, I don't like to talk - if that makes any sense.

And that all applies to the phone. In person I'm even less impressive. I'm shy so I get nervous and when I get nervous I start talking. About anything. Things that shouldn't be said to nearly perfect strangers. It's essentially diarrhea of the mouth and quite often I find myself just wishing I had just shit all over the place rather than having said what I said. Probably would have gone smoother.

I meet new people and exchange phone numbers and then fret... I'm wondering if they know think I'm a lunatic and if by some miracle of God they haven't come to that conclusion, praying to God they text me. Is that too much to hope for?


Anonymous said...

OMG I'm the same LOL!!!

Michelle said...

I prefer texting to talking except to a select handful of people.

I always try to get my kids' friends parents to give me their email address so I don't have to call them.

Teaching With a Toddler said...

You know the worst thing EVER? Answerphone. Is there anyone in the world who can leave an answerphone message without sounding insane or at least mentally unstable? I know I can't.

The Wrenns said...

I am the same way, too!!

le Chef said...

I'm so much better in Text. and I hate my voice on video. UGH.
I hear ya woman. I hear ya.

Jessi said...

OMG Sissy! SO ME!!! My husband says I'm a weirdo but I hate talking on the phone and would much rather IM, text or email! I get all weirded out when people call me LOL

Ms. G said...


Brenda Susan said...

Looks like there are a lot of women who do not love talking on the phone, count me in, for all the same reasons you mentioned!
I freeze up on the phone and often in person, but let me email or Facebook and you can't shut me up!
Maybe we just don't like being interrupted or waiting our turn to talk? But that sounds awfully selfish....nah, not us!!

Lorie Shewbridge said...

Count me in with all you wonderful ladies... so don't worry Sissy, you are not weird or all that different! Well, maybe you are in other ways, but not in THIS way.
I would so much rather email or IM or text. I think that is probably why we all started blogs - maybe??

Unknown said...

just had a conversation with Captain Cancel about this today...cause for the past (we were married almost um...crap how long? 4 years...eh nonetheless) ...
cause for most of our married life I tuned him out over the phone.

I will literally hang up and say, shit, what'd he say...so I asked that we text or email from now on...for that reason.

Really another reason is that on the phone I have to control over my smart mouth, where I can edit via text or email.