June 25, 2010

I Lie But For A Very Good Reason

I tell people that I don't answer the phone because there's always a kid screaming and I can text thru screaming.

That's not entirely true.

It's true that there's always a kid screaming but that's not why I don't answer. I don't want to answer because I fancy myself much more eloquent via text. Or email. And by eloquent, I mean less like a blubbering idiot. This would also be the reason I do not and will not ever "vlog". The closest I come is my voice on the videos I take of the boys and I cringe to hear even that. I hate talking on the phone unless it's my sister or my folks - there is no doubt left in their minds of my idiot-ness, nothing to betray there. My 13 year old self would clutch her heart dramatically and fall to the floor at that rejection of the all important telephone but it's true. I like to communicate, I don't like to talk - if that makes any sense.

And that all applies to the phone. In person I'm even less impressive. I'm shy so I get nervous and when I get nervous I start talking. About anything. Things that shouldn't be said to nearly perfect strangers. It's essentially diarrhea of the mouth and quite often I find myself just wishing I had just shit all over the place rather than having said what I said. Probably would have gone smoother.

I meet new people and exchange phone numbers and then fret... I'm wondering if they know think I'm a lunatic and if by some miracle of God they haven't come to that conclusion, praying to God they text me. Is that too much to hope for?
Post a Comment