February 12, 2010

Blog Fart, Fragmented, Fuck It Friday

I want the Wii Fit Plus. I want it and I'm gonna get it. I've heard that it mocks you, makes fun of you, tells you to lay off the cupcakes if you weigh more than the last time. It almost came to blows when the damn Wii Sports told me I was 56 years old. I see a series detailing fights I get into with my Wii in this blog's future.

Aidan's independent streak lasted 3 days. I'm back to being his personal school- transportation-and-anything-else-his-heart-desires bitch again.

After I mentioned something about how he should be butt-crazy in love with me because I gave birth to his children, my husband informed me that my vagina is "Entry Only" from now on. Good to know he's designing vaginal street signs now days. 

It has come to my attention that I quit watching the last episode of The Bachelor too early because Ali Bad Fake Cryer calls Luke or Duke or Jack or whatever his name is and wants to come back after she tearfully said goodbye to go back home to her job. BARF!!! It's obvious to me that my Bachelor recaps and opinion posts are not over. Also, when I first started writing "Luke or Duke or Jack or whatever his name is" I honest to God thought his name was Jack. I only recently learned his name is Jake. That's how easy it is to tune everything about that man out - I didn't even pay attention to his name.

My hair is getting long and I'm itching to cut it. However, I'm in a new town with no one I trust with my hair yet. Let's just forget about that evil discount store salon incident, shall we? That's not happening again, that was a fluke. So I dried my hair naturally, no flat iron or straightening brush, just to see where things are, if I can stand to grow it out some more. We are in a bad, bad place, my friends. My hair is like 5/8ths curly. Not a good ratio. And straight, it's all stringy, like the hair of the dead girl who crawls out of that well in The Ring. It's settled, I need a haircut!

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