December 29, 2009

Things I Will Probably Fail At In 2010

Who's thinking about their New Years Resolutions on Christmas Eve? You guessed it, I am was. It's now days later that I'm actually finishing this post.

You might as well expect my usual resolutions - Keep Aidan out of juvie, don't let Asher eat inanimate objects that will not pass without medical intervention, and as usual - reduce the size of my ass.

I will not get into Twitter fights with ignorant, heartless, arrogant bitches. I'm sure they're going through their own shit and even if I hope nothing ever turns out right for them ever again, I will not say so on Twitter. Note: this resolution does not apply to my blog.

I will stop badgering my husband to trade in his truck and buy me a new Acadia leaving him to drive my truck. Even if it means moving my seat up every single time we get in or out of the thing to let the kids out of the back seat. Even if it means not letting anyone ride in the passenger side when it's cold because frigid air rushes through some invisible hole in the door. Even if it means never drinking a pop or God forbid, hot chocolate while driving because there are essentially NO shocks left on the thing. Even if it means... Ya know what? Scratch that, I want a new car! If I don't get it by Summer, then I'll stop. It can be more of a Half-Year Resolution.

I will try and I have to say try because this will be very difficult for me to complete a load of laundry from hamper to put away in a timely manner. One load can take upwards of 5 days. Here's why. When I finally put the clothes in the washer, I almost always have to rewash at least once sometimes 3 times because I've left them in long enough to stink the wet stink. Then, when they get in the dryer I very often will leave them there for 2 or 3 days before I move them from the dryer to the dining room table. Then they sit there for a day or so before I start folding them. At least a day on the table folded and that means by the time we wear them again it goes something like this... I will try to cut that down to 2 days max from hamper to put away. And maybe I'll iron the Mr's shirts and pants only when necessary. If I can figure out how to work the iron. Shut up, he knew what he was getting into before he married me.

I will not seek out voodoo dolls and witch doctors to perform hexes on CitiMortgage anymore. It's a fruitless search anyway.

I will stop buying Aidan a toy at every store we go to, every single time we go. It's Asher's year. Kidding. Kinda. But they have the entire basement full of toys. FULL. I could take 3/4 of them and they wouldn't even notice. And even if they did, they think a gnome comes and cleans their playroom. That way I don't get blamed when and if they do notice something missing. Now that's creative parenting.

What are your New Year's Resolutions? And if you don't make New Year's Resolutions because it's an arbitrary date to make positive changes in life and most people don't stick to them and you are already perfect, no need to let me know that cuz I did not make a resolution not to call out arrogance and stick-up-your-ass-ness here on the blog.

14 comments:

Jessi said...

Good resolutions.

I hope you at least get your car !

Mom of the Perpetually Grounded said...

Hey! I use the same laundry method. My husband calls the folding table his dresser. I don't make New Year resolutions because then someone might expect something of me!

The Wrenns said...

I am totally with you on the laundry thing--I am just as guilty as you!

adrienzgirl said...

I am on a mission to reduce the size of my ass!

The Red Headed Mama said...

Are you sure your husband doesn't want to move to OH? Because seriously, I just sent the laundry part of your blog to my husband and said "SEE! I'm not the only one!!" Only instead of the table, mine sit on one end of the couch. I currently have a load in the washer that has been in there since sometime before Christmas. Must go rewash.

My resolutions are easy this year. Save more money and print/organize pictures. Sure, I'd like to lose 20lbs, be a better person, actually enjoy playing transformers...but those things probably won't happen :)

Debra said...

Okay I am better about the laundry it gets washed, dried and folded... however it is two flights of stairs to put away, so usually that is where it ends. Unless I can get my husband to help bring up some. By then the baskets are so full you cannot see over them to walk.
Hey, there ya go, my New Years resolution.... buy more laundry baskets so they aren't so full for him.

Okay my others will include trying not to throttle useless co-workers, and trying to sell my house. I know,I know, but please don't burst my bubble until after the New Year Stars okay...

Bill and Lorie Shewbridge said...

Oh, Sissy, you made me feel SO much better about my laundry. I thought I was the only one who left it inthe washer so long that it had to be rewashed - more than once. Did you know that baking soda and white vinegar helps take out that awful smell? A gift from me to you!!
And to help with the wrinkles, the new Arm & Hammer wet dryer sheets work wonderfully for 20 minutes in the dryer on low... of course then you have to take them out right away and fold them - YUK!
You should like up your post with Nanny Goats in Panties, she's doing a great Resolution Campaign this year: http://www.nannygoatsinpanties.com/2005/01/its-in-air.html
Happy new year...

The girl with the flour in her hair said...

I do laundry exactly the same way you do. I keep thinking of all the money I'd save in detergent if I only had to wash each load once.

bettyl said...

Good luck with all that! If the kids laugh and learn not to start fires this year, I think you'll have accomplished a lot!

~Ronda~ said...

I'm so with ya on the laundry thing!! I hate, hate, hate folding laundry, it is however, a necessary evil!! As far as my resolutions, my biggest one is too not spend so much friggin moolah on crap I/Tay don't need!! And the other one, I'm gonna use Tay's Wii to shrink the size of my junko in the trunko!! Ask me in a week if I've started, k!!

MoonNStarMommy said...

LOLOL!! I love this and that's too funny, I totally do the laundry thing too. Bad me... er.. us... :D I was cracking up at the voodoo dolls and witch doctors, I could totally hook you up... well.. maybe. The toy thing is here too, we call our house Toys R Us... it was my first job, Toys R Us.. funny huh? Guess I'll never escape. I was cracking up at your juvie and eating that which should not be eaten because I have those on my list too, only in different ways - yours is much funnier.. oh and the whole ass thing too... I am still working on mine but I should be posting it today or tomorrow ...

Vanessa Rogers said...

I like the half year resolution idea!

Deb said...

Love the idea of half-year resolutions. How about I start the no-procrastinating one in July?

Messy Mommy said...

I am EXACTLY the same way with laundry! It just sucks doesn't it? Since we moved I haven't even been able to find our iron. A few minutes on wrinkle release in the dryer just has to do. :)