November 30, 2009

My Best Facebook Status Updates

Is it still gluttony if I throw up all 6000 calories I just ate?

I wanna know who gave my kids crack cuz wow, they are losing their minds! better my sister's house than mine :)

"I prefer to donate to animal charities. I just don't have much of a soft spot for my fellow man."



Dear Nickelodeon, How many days in a row are you going to play Dora Saves The Magic Crystal Kingdom. Knock it off or I'm gonna lose my mind. Thanks, Amanda.

I feel a 'fake-ass-facebook-friend' purge coming on.

"Mama, look-k-k, pank-a-but-t-t." WHACK! (slaps the hell outta me) "Foddy, Mama..." -Asher



Oh yes, delete me from your friend list, that'll surely show me the error of my ways. Fucking idiot.

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