August 31, 2009

"Not Me" Monday

So far my Monday blows so getting to pretend for just a second that I didn't do these things and that these things didn't happen to me just might save lives. Mostly I mean the lives of Jackass Principal, Aidan, and quite honestly, my own.

I did not throw out every threat in my book, make promises that would surely ruin him, and at one point actually beg my 5 year old to go into his classroom, act normal, and not make me lose my damn mind. Nope, not me!

I did not turn around 500 feet down the street from the school and find Aidan following me home. I also did not take him back to school only to find out that nobody even knew he had left! Nope, that didn't happen. Not to me.

I did not tell Jackass Principal to just stop talking to me because if he repeats the very obvious over and over and over again to me one more time I might strangle him with the band on his staff badge. Nope, not me.

I did not text my husband and tell him if he doesn't want his wife in the paper tomorrow for assaulting said Principal, he better come down there to intervene. Nope, I would never do that.

I did not get home from the school fiasco still fuming, possibly shaking from anger only to get slapped with one more Fuck You in the form of Asher's ass exploding to the point he needed a bath to get sufficiently clean. Nope, didn't happen. No way.

I am not begging God to let me go back to last night and have a do over for today. No, I am. That is happening.

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