August 20, 2009

Give It To Me Straight

I really don't know what to do here. Aidan lasted 37 minutes longer today than he did yesterday. He is up in his bare room now and will not be going back to school tomorrow. I feel like anything I say against the school is somehow defending Aidan's behavior. I'm not.

I'm REALLY not.

However... I do think they are jumping the gun a bit. And I think the principal is a jackass. But I'll get into that later.

Here's how I see things. Aidan is a brat. He's got a foul little temper and there is something up with him. Maybe he has ADHD, maybe he had Oppositional Defiance Disorder, maybe he has Aspergers Syndrome, maybe he caught the fucking plague... I don't know. I'm his mother and I know that most likely he will do better in a setting with less kids and a teacher who specializes in behavior modification. I know this because I've known him for 5 years and he's always been like this. Principal Get Him Outta Here doesn't know that. That jackass has "known" Aidan for a combined total of one and a half days and he's decided it's a lost cause.

Now here are my complaints about "that man" as Aidan refers to him.

He speaks to me as though I were a 16 year old girl and that I don't know what the hell I'm doing.

He barely lets me speak at all.

He is right next to hateful when he talks about Aidan.

Aidan doesn't like him and the man is up his ass all day long. When I left this morning I saw him walking over to Aidan's table and Aidan was stiffening up already.

He's very obviously not interested in helping Aidan. He wants him out of his school. I know this because he called Student Services to "get the ball rolling" on getting Aidan moved before he ever called me yesterday.


Now all this man knows is this is the first week of Kindergarten and Aidan isn't doing the things he should be doing. So the first step is to kick him out? To say he can't do it? To get rid of him? Seriously?

Am I wrong to think he should get more than a day to adjust accordingly? Am I just being defensive or overly sensitive about it? Does it seem to anyone else that Principal Get Him Outta Here just doesn't want to deal with Aidan's issues? And who's with me that we change his name to Principal Jackass for the blog cuz Principal Get Him Outta Here is a tad too long?



18 comments:

Anonymous said...

Absolutely you and Aidan deserve more time to get into the groove. That principal IS a jackass. I truly believe kids and animals know when grown ups are good or evil. If my kids and dog don't like you, you're out.
When son #3 was in elem. school his teacher was constantly on his ass to the point that one day I called a meeting, didn't know the bitch of a teacher was going to have the principal and school psychologist come to the meeting - all the better for me. So after listening to them go on and on about my son's issues I finally told them. My son doesn't like you. He says you give him mean looks all day. The psychologist - THE PSYCHOLOGIST - said to me, well you know you can't always believe what a child tells you. I about blew a total gasket but remained calm, not sure how.. I said, seriouly, you're telling me not to believe my son, how 'bout if he tells me the ice cream man is touching him in his privates, I'm not supposed to believe that either? The principal chimes in with, well we can see you're upset... I stared right into her beady little eyes and said, no, I'm not upset and the tell tale sign of this is because all of you are still in your chairs and not flat out on your asses! I stood told them to do their jobs or I'd be taking this whole mess up with the school board and walked out. They didn't like me much after that and I really didn't give a shit.
YOU know your child, they don't. You do whatever your Mother's intuition tells you to do. Schools now want cookie cutter children, they want everyone to behave the same and learn the same, other wise they classify your child as "special needs" which is their way of getting more money for their school, nothing more. If you don't feel comfortable with pulling Aidan, keep him there, make them do their jobs and let them get their money from somebody elses kid.
Okay.. I think I'm done ranting...

Anonymous said...

This is so wrong, sooooo wrong.
Where is the teacher in all this?
Did the teacher involve the principal on the second day of school?
I'm thinking maybe the teacher sucks at his/her job.

thatgirlblogs said...

sometimes love is blind.

this is NOT one of those times.

despite your love for aiden? you are seeing things quite clearly.

fight the good fight!

down with the jackass.

Nocturnal Queen said...

I agree that one day is not enough time. And their first (or even second or third) option shouldn't be to kick him out. Do they not have anyone at that school who can help a child adjust? If not, they need to find someone and hire him or her quickly.

Maybe you could help out in his class. Do you think that would be a possibility?

@eloh said...

I could go on for volumes here. Been there...done that.

My only accomplishment in changing the school system was to have a video camera with voice recording put into the principals office....to protect him from me. I was very proud.

What exactly are their complaints? Because it is very true what "RAW" said...they WILL identify those children very quickly that they can put on a government program...it gets them tons of $$$$$.

The Crazy Suburban Mom said...

holy shit. Yeah, he's wrong and I don't know what the deal is but maybe you need a student advocate...sheese already? damn. And maybe you should get your own eval which unfortunately you will have to pay for but undoubtedly Mr. Stick up his ass will get one and it will say what he wants it to say, trust me on this....and so I suggest you get one first...not second. And than it will be unbiased. And first.

tracy

Allie said...

I was in a similar situation as a child. I was labeled a "problem child" and sent to a psychiatrist for Ritalin when I was just 4 years old. Sure, I was hyperactive, but I think my teachers could have tried a little harder to figure out how to work with me the way I was instead of trying to force me to be just like all the other kids. I think I just felt under-stimulated because I was a really fast learner. I got bored and that is when I started "acting up." The problem was in the way my teachers reacted. Instead of finding out WHY I was being the way I was, they just punished me, no questions asked. That made me feel hurt and mad, so I acted out even more.

Maybe Aiden just needs to feel respected by this man. I know that I hated it when adults talked down to me and made me feel bad about myself. I was always cooperative with the people who treated me with respect and ASKED me to do things instead of TELLING me to do them. If this asshole principal wants Aiden to show him the respect he thinks he deserves, then maybe he should try reciprocating that favor first. At any rate, I hope you let this guy have it!

Diane said...

ok i'm all caught up. we've emailed a bit about this before and i gave you my thoughts.

do not take this stuff with the school personal. this whole aggravation you are having with the principal - let it go.

breathe.

and THEN request an IEP.

it might be the best thing to "get him outta there".

in the meantime, they have 30 days to do every evaluation under the sun, and at the end of it all maybe everyone will have a clearer picture of what's going on. at that point everyone can decide on the appropriate services.

but don't get wrapped up in being pissed at the school or the principal. keep your eye on the prize - aidan getting the best education he can get.

get educated yourself as to what services aidan might qualify for so that when you get in the IEP you can say "i want this", and don't sign anything til you get it.

first and foremost though, you really need to work on getting some kind of diagnosis from a doctor, to go along with the school findings. you have to, otherwise he'll fall through the cracks. trust me, a having your child "labeled" is better than them not getting the appropriate education.

you have to advocate for him. and i have a really good feeling that you're going to do a great job of it.

if you need anything let me know!

Deb said...

Jackass Principal must be somehow related to your neighbor.

So sorry you and Aidan have to deal with all that crap, though. It's kindergarten! They don't just sing Zippety-Doo-Da all day anymore, do they? Think I'm glad I've got some time on this front.

Good luck.

Farmers Wife said...

Here in Australia, we would call this man a tool. Which is kinda disrespectful but I think he deserves it. Aiden is in kindy for Gods sake, give the little guy a break! I really feel for you, I hope something can be done to bring peace to both you and your little man, I know how hard it is when my kid cries for a day or two.

Bill and Lorie Shewbridge said...

Poor Aiden... I know you've had your difficulties with him, but like you said, you've been dealing with him for 5 years. Principal Jackass (and YES, that is his OFFICIAL name from here on out!!), needs to get a grip! He should NOT be making this type of judgement after 2 days of school! You go on and fight for your little man!!

Unknown Mami said...

He is a complete and total JACKASS! He should get the ball rolling on getting himself outta there.

Jenn@ The Crazies said...

Breathe. You are NOT wrong. I wont write a book here but we had similar situations with middle. She IS adhd and brilliant (IQ wise) but a little difficult to channel all that energy and frustrating for her. We requested a core eval ( per her therapist) and we got luck enough to get her into a good school system. Though we did retain her last year into the 3rd grade again.. she kept the same teacher. One who was an absolute ANGEL. These amazing teachers are out there, sometimes it just takes a while to adjust and find the right fit. I bet he will be fine... but for now, fight for his rights and yours!

Sarah @ When two becomes three... said...

I don't know what the American school system is like as I am a Canadian....eh....:O) But a poster recommended an IEP and I am across the border nodding franticly in agreement. I hate that principle already....it's kindergarten for crying out loud and Aidan is still so young - he shouldn't have a clue who Principle Jackass is. BE the Squeaky wheel lady.....always the most annoying but always gets the grease.

Anonymous said...

I'm not saying you shouldn't have Aidan tested, that's up to you, but I ran this situation by one of my best friends, who teaches kindergarten, and she said what I was thinking too:

Brand-new teacher, second day of school goes running to the principal about your son: She does not have the experience or the confidence to handle her classroom and Aidan deserves and needs someone who can do both.

The principal is taking way too strong of a role for the first week in class. He's covering this teacher's ass, period.

Probably she shouldn't even be teaching, and it's entirely possible she won't last; she could be gone halfthrough through the year (many teachers quit teaching their first year).

Is there another kindergarten class in the school? In a nearby school?

I'm not convinced at this juncture Aidan should be looked at, at all. School is less than a week old and the fact that this teacher is totally inexperienced may absolutely be at the heart of this.

AngieB said...

I am so furious for you! I dealt with the same thing when my youngest was that age. I know there are teachers and administrators out there who are compassionate and care about making sure every child gets the education they need and who appreciate each child's individuality, but I have run across very few of them. The vast majority just want to take the lazy way out, which means "transfer the kid", "punish the kid", or "drug the kid". They use a wide variety of labels to make this seems like acceptable behavior on their part, but it's NOT! You have to stand up for Aidan's right to be appreciated for who he is and educated in a way that works for him. Hang in there! My Jack's pre-K teacher asked me come in for a conference and handed me a 20-page evaluation she'd done on Jack that suggested he was pretty much a serial-killer-in-training and I should just lock him up now. After I cried hysterically for two days I decided to just switch schools. It hasn't been all smooth sailing, Jack's got his own ideas about everything. But he's a happy, healthy, well-adjusted 10-year-old now making fabulous grades and getting glowing reports from teachers who understand him. One of the things that kept me going was knowing that one of my co-wokers (one of the top cardiologists in this region of the country) was thrown out of kindergarten and doesn't hesitate to tell people about it. You'll get through this!

Stacie's Madness said...

holy fuck. seriously?

I don't get it...I hope that you get some better answers than just being brushed off in a matter of a day.

wow.

Debra said...

You need to review the Student Rights policy (501?) for your state. I believe most provide a disciplinary policy and procedures that the school MUST follow. i would suggest finding a local clinic like I found here in my state that can do an impartial comprehensive diagnostic testing for any disabilities or special needs your son may have.
I tell you this because when my daughter was having trouble in school and started to refuse to go we were at a loss. The school was no help and their suggestions was to put her on ritalin. I was told not to let the school test her because they would automatically put her on the drug.
I was so glad to do it because we found she was dyslexic. With the evaluation we were able to "demand" the support and modify her schooling to help her. Under the Student Right law they have to accommodate any special needs diagnosed.
Either way even if they find nothing wrong but a rambunctious child, they have to work with you. Unless your son pulled out a gun, had drugs or otherwise violated the school policy this "principal" clearly over reacted.
I must tell you though if he has already "targeted" your son it will be a uphill battle. I finally had to resort to having a Psychologist come with me to a meeting armed with my child's evaluation and the Student Rights law.
Start looking for an independent testing clinic near you. For us it was the Keller Clinic in Bloomfield Hills, MI. Thanks to them my daughter had an easier time and graduated with honors.
You can ask for a copy of the student rights law for your area (I did not know if they were the same nationwide).