July 16, 2009

Something Stinks In Suburbia

It's been pretty quiet on the front lines of us vs Jackass Neighbors. Quiet isn't always a good thing. In fact they're probably planning nuclear war or something because beyond just not being pricks, they are being nice.

You're scared, aren't you? I am.

It started with the daughter. After the screaming episode and a few glares and scowls, all of a sudden she's smiling and making eye contact. When I asked Mr what he thought about it he simply said "lobotomy".

Then Mrs. Jackass starts smiling. Then waving. And I started twitching cuz what the hell?


Then! Then she speaks. Not yelling like a lunatic, chatting like we aren't the modern day equivalent of the Hatfield's and McCoys. Well, she chatted, I just kinda stood there waiting for the other shoe to drop with my mouth hanging open slightly. There might have been rapid eye blinking. The Mr was mowing and after she walked away he came over to ask what she was bitching about this time. He had to break me out of my shock induced trance before I could tell him there was no bitching but hell had just frozen over.

Mr. Jackass still holds the same constipated, pinched look on his face all the time so nothing new there. He's an idiot and we make fun of his token middle class, miswestern square trying to be hip calf tattoos when he wears shorts. Juvenile? Yes. I'm okay with that.

8 comments:

Funny in my mind said...

I would not speak to or look at them. They started this and now THEY want to decide to be civil. Don't forget the crappy things they did. Crappy, oh I kill myself.

Laurie said...

where were you hiding when you took this picture of him?? :)

Anonymous said...

Black cross trainers are cheesy enough but the tattoo is indeed a desperate attempt to announce hip-dom. Kinda like when my 76 year old mother tries to use some of-the-moment phrase she heard on tv to talk with these kids today. I absolutely have forbid her from using the word 'bling' anymore. It's creepy - kinda like your neighbor with his black tennies & tattoo.

Debra said...

Come on now you can tell us, you put prozac in the water didn't you?

I am with the previous blogger, how did you get this pic of his leg?

Bill and Lorie Shewbridge said...

Be afraid..... be very afraid.... Have you looked for the empty pods in the back of their yard???

Sarah said...

That's a SERIOUS fence you put up! I mean I know the phrase is "good fences make good neighbors" but it's like yours has mind meld properties or something.

Neva said...

You, yea YOU...you make me laugh, lady! Keep it up.

Ro said...

I have a similar situation going on with my new neighbors, they are insane and possibly inbred..