July 9, 2009

How Do Young People Make You Feel Old?

Holy hell, I've got to get this teenager out of my house!

Naw, she's not bad in the traditional teenage girl sense. She's pretty fantastic actually but damn if she isn't making me feel old!

First of all, it's not fair for a 30 year old woman to work out with a 14 year old girl. I'm pouring sweat, huffing and puffing, and possibly wheezing a little when I look over and she's not even breathing hard. Was I wrong to wish her treadmill belt would suddenly speed up or stop completely? 

Oh, and she made me run line drills.

Okay, I ran
A line drill. But that's one more than the times I've done one of those damn things since jr high.

Also, I was there when she was born. I changed her diaper, she puked on me, and I'm pretty sure I was responsible for her uttering her first F bomb. Now she's getting mistaken for an adult, she shoots off no less than 6,000 texts a day, and chats with 12 boys at a time on MySpace. 

Oh, and now she goes by her "big girl" name. This is weird to me. Her name is Brooklynn Nicole. She was always Nikki to me. Now she prefers Brooke. Sorry, chica, I prefer to look like Heidi Klum...

However, she is Aidan and Asher's bitch and that suits me just fine. Plus she's gonna watch the little terrorists so the Mr and I can enjoy a meal and a movie in relative peace one night this week.

On second thought, maybe we'll adopt her.
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