July 9, 2009

How Do Young People Make You Feel Old?

Holy hell, I've got to get this teenager out of my house!

Naw, she's not bad in the traditional teenage girl sense. She's pretty fantastic actually but damn if she isn't making me feel old!

First of all, it's not fair for a 30 year old woman to work out with a 14 year old girl. I'm pouring sweat, huffing and puffing, and possibly wheezing a little when I look over and she's not even breathing hard. Was I wrong to wish her treadmill belt would suddenly speed up or stop completely? 

Oh, and she made me run line drills.

Okay, I ran
A line drill. But that's one more than the times I've done one of those damn things since jr high.

Also, I was there when she was born. I changed her diaper, she puked on me, and I'm pretty sure I was responsible for her uttering her first F bomb. Now she's getting mistaken for an adult, she shoots off no less than 6,000 texts a day, and chats with 12 boys at a time on MySpace. 

Oh, and now she goes by her "big girl" name. This is weird to me. Her name is Brooklynn Nicole. She was always Nikki to me. Now she prefers Brooke. Sorry, chica, I prefer to look like Heidi Klum...

However, she is Aidan and Asher's bitch and that suits me just fine. Plus she's gonna watch the little terrorists so the Mr and I can enjoy a meal and a movie in relative peace one night this week.

On second thought, maybe we'll adopt her.

11 comments:

Debra said...

Ah it's a double edge sword isn't it. On the one hand "cheap" labor and a helping hand (trust me they only help someone else. At home they usually wnat nothing to do with their own siblings, or any form of housework. Speaking from experience). If you really want to feel old have kids you once babysat for show up with "their" children!

Margo said...

remember that 30 is very, very, very young. In 15 years, you'll be beating yourself up if you don't. Oh, wear a bikini and miniskirts now too - trust me :)

melanie said...

Holy crap... I totally want my own kid bitch too!!!!!!!!! (minus the line drills... wtf were you trying to prove anyway?)

The Main Ladybug said...

Ohhhhhh, and she's CUTE too!

Farmers Wife said...

I really think my little big girl will be just like this, with the texting and the myspaceing and the like. I'm particularly not looking forward to it cos shes 8 and I already get a lip full of attitude from her. What the hell is it going to be like when shes 15...

Karen said...

oh, she is darling!!!!

Michelle said...

Enjoy the extra hands while you have it!

Sarah said...

I'm pretty sure the feeling old thing does suck big hairies but you have to admit that being old and having an extra wrangler for the boys is a whole lot better than just feeling old and trying to rope them yourself. Is she on tour? And when can I get added to her schedule?

Sandy said...

Oh, to be 30!

BPOTW said...

I prefer to say, 'that's ok, you just work out and I will take some photos. Won't that be fun!'

Bill and Lorie Shewbridge said...

Oh, quit your bitchin' Sissy -- OLD at 30, talk to me in 15 years, when everything starts to droop and sag, and things are no longer where they are supposed to be.

Plus, you've got this lovely young lady to play with the martians so you and the sexy beast can spend time together, excuse me!! No complaining allowed!!

Have a nice weekend!!