July 20, 2009

3 Things You Might Observe At A Monster Truck Show Besides Big Trucks

#1. People lose their damn minds when the freakin' T-shirt cannon comes out. 

Grown ass men rip $3 shirts from the hands of sweet little girls in pig tails and little old ladies start throwing elbows. Granted, these little old ladies have Virginia Slims hanging from their lips and are wearing wolves on their shirts but they are little old ladies none-the-less.

#2. 
 Dear Unknown Local Girl Posing As A Singer,

There is Kelly Clarkson signing the National Anthem. And there is Roseanne doing it. 


Can you please keep the unnecessary runs down to a minimum? We'd appreciate it.


Sincerely,

Simon Cowell Wannabe In The Stands


#3. People are inconsiderate pricks. Maybe you didn't notice but there are tons of kids at this little shin dig. I know you've heard that radio commercial with the kid hacking a lung up because he's exposed to second hand smoke. Why must you smoke right here right now? Yes, technically it's an outside venue but would it kill you to go to the parking lot? I smoked for years, I can honestly say you will not die if you do not smoke for 2 hours! Damn! These two literally never stopped smoking throughout the whole thing.

9 comments:

Kritta22 said...

I don't understand tatoos in the middle of your back. On the shoulder, okay. But the middle of your back...you would have to get two mirrors to see that thing everyday.
What's up with that?

Do you have a tattoo?

Debra said...

ahhh, reminiscing on a wonderful day at the local "culteral" event. I would remind for a moment that you were at a "Monster Truck" event. Loud, hearing loss invoking noise it part of the "allure", so think of the local party girl and a warm-up for your ears. As for rowdy smokers, elbowing grannies, and crazy T-Shirt grabbing fools, well they have to have something to do, after all they are basically watching people daring death (bikers who feel the need to defy gravity), and idiots in bigger trucks wasting precious resources destroying other trucks. I am sorry I just never understood these type of, for lack of a better word, sports? Like race car driving, sure fun for the driver, but really, watching fools speed around a loop a few hundred times trying not to crash and burn? (my husband watches these, then laughs at people watching golf?)To be fair though he doesn't get musicals, plays, or antique roadshows.

Krissi said...

Damn those smokers....

Farmers Wife said...

Rowdy?? Noooooo. How on earth could you tell?? (farmerswifes tongue planted firmly in cheek).

Michelle said...

People are awesome!

Michelle said...

Oh yeah and last time my husband was the jackass that spilled his beer all over the kid in front of us. Good one hubby!

otter said...

where I live there is a law against smoking in public places, even outside! We got our whole meal free the other night ($75) because the guy at the table next to us, outside, was smoking a cigar and said he didn't care if it was illegal. My how times have changed, I used to chain-smoke everywhere!

Bill and Lorie Shewbridge said...

You never fail to amuse me!! I'm glad you were given the tickets and didn't have to pay for the elbowing, smoke-filled-lung, rowdy event. I'm not a big fan or Monster Truck, but The Hubs loves it. If I got free tickets, I would just go to people watch and take photos to post on the blog... HaHa!!
Thanks for sharing -- Love the tatoo, too -- I don't understand them in the middle of the back either, I would think they'd REALLY hurt there!!

Stacie's Madness said...

*cough* i haz tattoo in middle of my back.