June 18, 2009

Thursday Thirteen

It's about time for a Thursday Thirteen, don'tcha think? How about 13 things that are pissing me off today?

1. CitiMortgage. Evil, greedy, lying, hateful, rotten mother fuckers from the bowels of hell! My greatest desire is to read in the paper that they are bankrupt. Or that they got foreclosed on. Either would make me grin and rub my hands together like the Grinch right now.

2. The fact that I completely fucked up my header while trying to fix the links in my buttons. So much for my html skills. Now my blog is all jacked up and my OCD can't take it!

3. My neck is killing me! I woke up, rolled over, and cranked my neck around to look at the clock and BAM! I'm basically immobile. It hurts like a son of a bitch and Advil, it seems, is a giant pussy and is of no help thus far.

4. Heat. It's finally gotten into the 90's here and it's beautiful. But it's damn hot! I hate hate hate the heat. I sweat like a pig, my hair gets wet and curls up near my head which makes for very unflattering hair days, and I'm generally miserable. And don't tell me to cool off at a pool cuz my fat ass is #5 on this list so there'll be no pool/lake/beach trips for Sissy. I don't even wear shorts for crying out loud!

5. My ass. Specifically, the sheer size of it. And the dimples craters in it.

6. Speidi. Have you seen these two yahoos? What the sam hell is wrong with this country? These two are celebrities? For what, being the most self absorbed assholes on this planet? Please tell me they are going to go away soon.

7. CitiMortgage. Fuckers.

8. Asher. I don't know what his damn problem is but he needs to get over it. Now. Suddenly he can't sleep unless he's right next to me at night and he takes a "nap" of roughly 6 1/2 minutes during the day. He screams "Go!" everytime I stop the truck at a light or stop sign and "No!" for every, and I mean EVERY, simple request I make of him.

9. Twitter. Listen up, Sweet Sweet Tori, I do not want to see what you have on under your leather pants and I don't want to have the time of my life with you through your webcam. You're a skank. Please pass along my feelings to XBrianeXXX, Holly Loves You, and Sexxxy Twinz.

10. Companies who keep trying to get me to advertise for them without paying me. Here's a tip; If you want me to do a review you have to supply the product. And yeah, I kinda expect to be able to keep it. Also, I will not promise to write a positive review. If I think your product sucks I will say so. You will have the opportunity to not have me publish the review. And just because I do a review for you, that does not give you the right to demand that I place an ad in my sidebar indefinately free of charge. That little scroll box is for paid ads only. It wouldn't kill you to actually pay for your advertising, you stingy ass!

11. Baked Cheetos cuz they are so dang good! They are at least halfway responsible for #5.

12. The Appeal by John Grisham. I hate it when a book doesn't end right. And by right I mean the way I wanted it to end.

13. Did I mention CitiMortgage?
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