June 18, 2009

Thursday Thirteen

It's about time for a Thursday Thirteen, don'tcha think? How about 13 things that are pissing me off today?

1. CitiMortgage. Evil, greedy, lying, hateful, rotten mother fuckers from the bowels of hell! My greatest desire is to read in the paper that they are bankrupt. Or that they got foreclosed on. Either would make me grin and rub my hands together like the Grinch right now.

2. The fact that I completely fucked up my header while trying to fix the links in my buttons. So much for my html skills. Now my blog is all jacked up and my OCD can't take it!

3. My neck is killing me! I woke up, rolled over, and cranked my neck around to look at the clock and BAM! I'm basically immobile. It hurts like a son of a bitch and Advil, it seems, is a giant pussy and is of no help thus far.

4. Heat. It's finally gotten into the 90's here and it's beautiful. But it's damn hot! I hate hate hate the heat. I sweat like a pig, my hair gets wet and curls up near my head which makes for very unflattering hair days, and I'm generally miserable. And don't tell me to cool off at a pool cuz my fat ass is #5 on this list so there'll be no pool/lake/beach trips for Sissy. I don't even wear shorts for crying out loud!

5. My ass. Specifically, the sheer size of it. And the dimples craters in it.

6. Speidi. Have you seen these two yahoos? What the sam hell is wrong with this country? These two are celebrities? For what, being the most self absorbed assholes on this planet? Please tell me they are going to go away soon.

7. CitiMortgage. Fuckers.

8. Asher. I don't know what his damn problem is but he needs to get over it. Now. Suddenly he can't sleep unless he's right next to me at night and he takes a "nap" of roughly 6 1/2 minutes during the day. He screams "Go!" everytime I stop the truck at a light or stop sign and "No!" for every, and I mean EVERY, simple request I make of him.

9. Twitter. Listen up, Sweet Sweet Tori, I do not want to see what you have on under your leather pants and I don't want to have the time of my life with you through your webcam. You're a skank. Please pass along my feelings to XBrianeXXX, Holly Loves You, and Sexxxy Twinz.

10. Companies who keep trying to get me to advertise for them without paying me. Here's a tip; If you want me to do a review you have to supply the product. And yeah, I kinda expect to be able to keep it. Also, I will not promise to write a positive review. If I think your product sucks I will say so. You will have the opportunity to not have me publish the review. And just because I do a review for you, that does not give you the right to demand that I place an ad in my sidebar indefinately free of charge. That little scroll box is for paid ads only. It wouldn't kill you to actually pay for your advertising, you stingy ass!

11. Baked Cheetos cuz they are so dang good! They are at least halfway responsible for #5.

12. The Appeal by John Grisham. I hate it when a book doesn't end right. And by right I mean the way I wanted it to end.

13. Did I mention CitiMortgage?


Christina said...

I like it when you complain.
It makes me feel better about my bitching.

and I really really hate the heat too. Nobody seems to understand it!

I think we're soul sisters, or something.


Farmers Wifey said...

Well at least I can still see the top of your damn head...

Jennifer said...

Yeah, I'm hoping citigroup is going to go bankrupt, and lose my mortgage.

♥ Noelle ♥ said...

wow, you are really pissed off today!! nothing about the neighbors though, thats good right?? lol

cheer up chick!!

noelle ♥

Anonymous said...

I believe you're my long lost sister! EVERYTHING in your post makes perfect sense to me! Bitch on sister!!!!

Deb said...

It takes balls to put your own kid on the list. Well done.

Willnnabel said...

Wow all that and I just added you for the lovely blog thing too. Even though it looks as though you have it already. Cool I just wanted to let people know about your blog. I love it. It is refreshing to find someone who does not feel the need to sugar-coat life.

Halala Mama said...

Amen on anything Citi related. I pretty much hate all banks right now - they are absolutely immoral in the way they have found opportunities to legally, contractually steal money from their customers. And this latest round of failures has not taught them one thing. For the record, I also think that cell phones and their binding contracts are also close cousins of Satan.

melanie said...

I hate CitiMortgage too!! Fuckers!

Trista said...

LOL, you are funny! And right about the banks. I've been a Mortgage Broker for 11+ years and I hate the banks more every day!

The Robin's Nest said...

I like your #10. I'm new to the blogging world and I really enjoy it but I can't figure out what the whole reviewing thing. I'm not a greedy person but I've had several companies ask me to review a product and send it back.

If you let me keep it and review it honestly, I'm glad to do it. But hauling my crazy kids to the post office is not something I do for just anyone!

I just stumbled across your blog and it made me laugh. Thanks!

Ariel said...

2. What's wrong with your header? Did you fix it or are you just being crazy?

4. It's 65 here - I'm just sayin'

6. Who the hell is Speidi?

8. Well isn't he just precious! Cadence has started "No Fair!". "Can I have a cookie? No Fair!", "Can I eat dinner in my toy box? No Fair!". Cadence, bed time. "No Fair!" As if I give a shit about "fair".

Kathy said...

It seems it was a really shitty day for you! I hope you feel better, now that you got all that pissyness out. You put me in a better mood. Thank you.

Sarah said...

Do you know what the best part about your blog is? Other than you and Aidan's antics anyway? The people who read it and comment! I love that your brutal honesty inspires brutal honesty.

Maybe you should make just one trip to the pool just to people watch. It makes me feel better about my craters and pooch. They have body shop dents and built in inner tubes.