June 12, 2009

Not Blog Fart Friday

I've done a few Blog Fart Fridays lately and it's starting to bug me so I'm out of that game. I'm essentially gonna do the same thing I just refuse to call it Blog Fart Friday. I'm a rebel like that, see my Wordless Wednesdays.

Do you ever wonder if a celeb you blogged about ever read your blog? Like when I call a certain homewrecker a Slutbag and profess my slightly twisted admiration for another. I've heard that sometimes they read blogs about themselves so it's possible, right? If you knew the famous one would grace your blog with his or her presence, would you edit?

I try really hard to respond to all of my comments because I need love them. But I need your email address to stalk you properly, okay? Cooperate please!

Oh, if I don't have you on my blogroll just send me a quick note sayin' What's up with that, heifer, put my damn button up! Do not piss and moan to everyone else about it, send me a bitchy email about disrespect, remove me from your blogroll, and then systematically delete every comment you ever left for me. Didn't you grow out of that shit in 3rd grade? Fucking infant!

I love Twitter, I hate Twitter, I love Twitter...

Did anyone notice my first paid ad floating up there in the scroll box (top right)? Go ahead, click on it, I get nothing if you do but it'd be nice if they actually got something for their money.

I chatted with a neighbor this week who is totally gonna join the Oust The Jackass Neighbor Campaign. I think we're soulmates because she thinks the Lawn Pride epidemic here is out of control and she actually uttered the words "piss on them" when I relayed the ongoing saga to her.

After many years we are saying goodbye (and good riddance) to AT&T. We will now be slaves to Verizon. I'm not sure which I despise more right now - AT&T for not providing service here or Verizon for picking my husband's wallet clean. That's my job, dammit!

Our house in Arkansas has been on the market for 409 days. We've set closing dates 3 times and obviously never actually closed on the damn thing. That idiot-box we call a mortgage company has no help except to say "you have to be delinquent to enroll in any programs". CitiBank will be my mortal enemy until the day I die and if I wasn't such a chicken shit responsible person I'd burn that damn house down and mail those son of a bitches a box of the ashes. Oh, unless we are delinquent you have no programs available? Here's my program, let's see how much you can get for this!

I have several awards to formally accept but it's past midnight and those 2 mini-psychos I call my children will no doubt be up at 6am since we don't have anything to actually wake up early for. Besides, I'm low on blog material (and funny in case you haven't noticed) so I'll drag that out into it's own post so I don't have to think too hard.


Farmers Wifey said...

Mirror twin here. Well my blog is blank right now so when I eventually get my fabulous new blog button, please post it on your blog so you will know where to stalk..... BTW the mini psychos live at MY house..

Anonymous said...

UGH good luck with Verizon! I don't write about stars but if I knew they were reading my blog and I wrote about them I deffo would NOT edit. Hell, I'm never gonna meet them lol

Juanita said...

Wow Girl, you were in one shitty modd when you wrote this, huh? I hope you are feeling better this morning!!

I would ask you to "grab my button", but I've yet to figure out how to add the text "grab my button" to my cute little ladybug graphic so never mind . . . would love to hear form you though!

Peace (NO, literally - peace)!

The deMented Mom said...

fuck you are funny. One of my favorite bloggers by far..and I'm not just blowing smoke up your ass.

Have a wonderful weekend!

Deb said...

I just joined Twitter a few weeks ago and feel the same way. I'm especially fascinated by the people who Tweet about being grounded by Twitter for an hour after tweeting every damn second (and making me think something is wrong w/the page). Cool ad. :)

CaseyDeuce said...

I love being stalk-able. It gives me validation.

Funny in My Mind said...

I too love Jennifer and despise Angie and Brad. I did once see Jen and Brad at the grocery store when I was living in Springfield, Mo where Brad's family lives. His bro is a lawyer there and he is out and about a lot.I will bet if Edward (Rob( saw all the picts I post of him, he would think I am a pedophile or worse, a cougar. Oh well.

The Red Headed Mama said...

Hey whore, I don't see my button. What's up with that? I think I'll go cry in to my coffee now...on second thought, I'm sending my Aiden to visit your Aidan. If you get a large crate in the mail, open slowly...he doesn't normally bite.

The Red Headed Mama said...

btw, I have alltel. I switched to them to get the hell away from Verizon...but guess what? Those bloodsuckers bought Alltel. So yea, between them and TWC, our wallet is also picked clean.

Wow, I'm bitter today!

~aj~ said...

I don't know what it was about this Non Blog Far Friday post, but it's got me missing you...big time!

Amanda said...

Dude, sleep. Sending sell juju.

Diane said...

WHY do kids get up so early when there's nothing to get up for??

my daughter has been up at the ass crack of dawn, bright eyed and bushy tailed every morning since summer started.

on school days i have to drag her out of bed!