May 2, 2009

With Friends Like This...

We've all got that friend. The one who doesn't give a rat's ass about your hang ups or sensitivities and has no intention of allowing you to wallow in your own bullshit. That friend for me is Lisa.

This is a little excerpt of a text conversation between Lisa and I last night. I was complaining about not knowing anyone here yet and in typical Lisa fashion, there was no sympathy - only sharp, quick wit.

Lisa - U will find friends fast. Hopefully you can get to know them before the boys scare them off. Hehe... Any prospects in the neighborhood?

Me - ... I haven't met anyone.

Lisa - I bet that pisses you off. Where are the trays of cookies and shit from the nieghbors? Should have stayed with us mean bitches.

Me - There's bound to be a mean bitch around here somewhere.

Lisa - No such luck, you're in Stepford.

I warned her that I was gonna blog about this and she said fine but not to tell you guys that she recommended The Black Dagger Brotherhood books because I guess they have some juicy sex in them. Lisa may have an R rated mouth and temper but when it comes to discussing sex, she's strictly a G rated girl. She claims to not have even opened the "toy" Lenka and I got her for her birthday last year. If you can believe that...

6 comments:

Diane said...

we all need a friend who'll offer a swift kick in the ass when we need it!

hope you start getting settled in real soon. moving to a new place can be very intimidating.

*Noelle* said...

omg! your blog is frickin' hilarious!! i came across you through my friend stacy!!

love your header too with your "martian boys"!! lol i have 2 boys myself and can totally relate!!

noelle~

Stacie's Madness said...

yep. I have a friend very similar to this...Nice to have!

Devilpup00 said...

Be prepared for your email to be signed up with every porn site Damien can find:)

Anonymous said...

I'll be your mean bitch friend, even if only in Blogland. The bitchier the better, that's what I say. :)

~Ronda~ said...

Luvin it, and I would bet $$ that her and Damien have at least tried it out, ahh, say at least a dozen times or more!! Hi-Larious! No bitches on the block, eh? We'll just have to do something about that soon, won't we?