May 18, 2009

Where's The City Ordinance Against Being A Prick?

I was gonna stop blogging about them, the Jackass Neighbors. You know, I was trying the whole "I'm gonna rise above, they don't exist to me anymore, blah blah blah". But then I realized, um, fuck that! Those assholes are permanent blog fodder and the only thing that could one up all the comments agreeing that they are in fact douchebags would be for them to stumble upon this here blog and read it all for themselves. This is all I want for Christmas, Santa Claus, and I've been a very good girl this year.

This weekend Mr started the much needed barrier from the yard of the Devil fence. Jackass Neighbor's sprinklers come on every morning at 9am. Never in the afternoon or evening. Except for this particular Saturday afternoon when they come on when he is out there working right next to them. His bags of quickcrete are laying on the ground getting soaked, he's getting soaked, water is filling the holes for the posts... What? Are you 9 fucking years old?

Remember when I told you about meeting Zelda and her stealing my heart by calling them assholes? I didn't mention that she kinda ranted a little about Jackass Neighbor's van parked on the street. She talked about speaking with JN about it but said that since they are being such assholes, she might just call the police and let them handle it. Yes, I prayed the police would get called after the Puppy Police Incident.

Today I see a big orange sticker on the windshield of JN's van. I was positively giddy! And almost immediately I thought to myself, we are so gonna get blamed for that. I just happened to be outside when Mrs Jackass came home and I saw the look on her face when she pulled into her driveway and she. was. pissed. So she jumps out of the car and stomps down the driveway to the van. She moves it across the street and stomps back up the driveway and yells in my direction but not at me directly, you know, so as not to create a true confrontation something about the van not being parked in front of my house so I shouldn't be worried about it.

Now I. am. pissed. I mean, is this bitch for real?

14 comments:

CaseyDeuce said...

Dude, these people are wacky... Is it possible to get them commited to the psych ward???

Nocturnal Queen said...

It makes me mad for you.

Sarah said...

They are unreal! How childish to turn on the sprinkler while your husband is trying to put in a fence!

I hope for your sake things get better. It's not good to have so many issues with your neighbor.

MoonNStarMommy said...

I am coming back to catch up... but for now...

I just wanted to let you know that I awarded you something in my blog!

Check it out!

http://moonnstarmommy.blogspot.com

Totally_Toni said...

YOu live next to some nuts LOL.

Stacie's Madness said...

muahahahah and the war is on!

melanie said...

holy shit... I am totally bringing over some margarita mix and some lawn chairs... We are gonna sit on your lawn and have a good ole STARE DOWN and see if Mr. or Mrs. JN blink first! This is gonna be so much fun!!!

Deb a.k.a.The Invisible Blogger.... said...

Oh you make me want to be there yelling "fight, fight, fight", ha ha. Well let's try to find a small glimmer of - for lack of a better word- sunshine here. At least she has taken the focus off anything your kids could do. After all they have an excuse, their "babies". Hey, is your youngest potty trained? Why not have the little one run naked outside and poop on their lawn? Hmmm... I wonder what flag they would use for that?Or maybe get SB a raincoat for when he works on the fence with "Jackass Protection" written on it? Sorry I was having too much fun plotting revenge.

P.S. Did you know you can make "dandelion wine"?

The Red Headed Mama said...

I want to come camp out in your back yard and just watch the drama unfold. That seriously sounds like the best vacation ever. Plus, we could send the Aide(a)n's over to visit JN! hahahahaha...and they thought the dog was a pain in the ass.

Brenda Susan said...

You were going to stop writing about them & leave us without an ending? Believe me taking the high road is a lonely & pretty unfunny place.Keep it coming, but sorry you have to live it!

MoonNStarMommy said...

I'm kinda upset you weren't going to update the soap opera you have unfolding in your neighborhood! I mean seriously!! I would so comment on my neighbors - but they read my blog. Seriously! She is an ex-swinger who is married to one of my guy friends from highschool. I met her when she was married to her ex, and went through the whole divorce with her. Mind you - now she's a reformed swinger, would never cheat on him. However, I was in my garage the other day when she came home (we live in a duplex) and totally over heard her tell her niece who is living with her, to go clear the archive history when she got inside, and she already deleted everything on her phone. (shakes head disbelieving) ahhhh what??? Yeah! So I totally envy you being able to talk about it! LOLOLOL...

Mommy of M's said...

I just read your neighbor stories, I think you must two doors down from me.

Or maybe your neighbor and my neighbor are brothers.

Jessica said...

I love it. yes, you cannot stop posting about The Jackasses on your blog, and I also hope they stumble upon it. It is hillarious that people actually act like this!

Anonymous said...

My Dad used to put those orange stickers on people's windshields when they parked in our driveway. One time he let me put the sticker on a car. I think it was one of the greatest moments of my life.