May 5, 2009

They Flagged The Poop, Yes They Did

It's official, our neighbors are pricks. My first conversation with the woman was pleasant enough but it was obvious we weren't gonna be BFFs. Then last week she marched over and just short of chewed my husband's ass because Lexi pooped in her yard. He apologized and cleaned it up but was left without the warm fuzzies for her. They don't wave, speak, or even bother to look our direction. And then yesterday evening the man flagged our dog's poop in their yard. Actual little orange flags. 2 of them.

Look, I'm not insensitive to the situation. I know it's annoying, I try to watch her but when it's a choice between keeping her out of your yard and keeping Asher out of the street - to hell with your yard, mkay? Also, it's dog poop. Pick it up, or better yet mow the shit over like we do, and move on with your life. And you have dogs so it's not like your pristine yard has never been exposed to dog poop. Either way, do not come over to my house and address me like I'm a 6 year old and say to me in your best 'is your daddy home, little girl?' tone "I wanted to talk to your husband...". That pissed me off enough for me to actually say I'm a grown woman, I'm fully capable of having a confrontation with a neighbor. You don't need to speak to my husband. And that was the only good jab I got in. The rest came to me as I was stewing afterwards. Isn't that the way it always goes?

When he said I don't want to be a bad neighbor I just shrugged but I should have said Oh you're not a bad neighbor, you're just an asshole.

When he said You need to leash it from now on what I said was It? I will put her on a leash but I should have said Someone should leash you or at the very least muzzle you.

When he said I'm gonna mow my front lawn first and give you a chance to pick it up what I said was Well, as soon as I get done taping this room off, I'll get right out there but I should have said Oh, maybe you could set a timer for me! And then if I don't get it done in time you can flag me!

And when he said I don't want to have to do this again I should have said is OH, FUCK YOU!

18 comments:

Peggy said...

Poor Sissy!

Let's all go shit on their lawn!

Peggy said...

Awww...thanks for rolling me bitch! You're a doll!

Banteringblonde said...

WOW... a flag? That is funnY!

Diane said...

i cant believe they actually flagged it, as if they were bullets at a crime scene!

god, i'm so sorry you have shitty neighbors! (look, i made a pun!)

Stacie's Madness said...

shut the hell up, they flagged it.

ROFLMAO

parentingBYdummies said...

Flags? Maybe I should try that with my neighbor who is actually training their dog to shit in my yard. Yep, they walk it to a tree in my yard and ask it to shit there. And, people wonder why I said I was glad that the old one went to meet it's maker last year. I truly hate that my dudes step in shit and then track it all over my house. I never actually say anything about it b/c how bitchy is that? I don't want my neighbor writing a blog about me:)! At least you are trying to control it. The only time mine ever even bother to pick it up is if they see me out front. When I'm dressed in all black standing in my window in the dark with my night vision goggles on, they totally ignore it. Nice blog!

Funny in my mind said...

Why don't you make your own flag? A big one that says "my neighbors are shitty" and put it in your yard?

Jenn@ The Crazies said...

FUNNY's comment ahead of mine is classic... LOVE IT!!

Idiosynkrasia said...

hahaha you always have the best comments! I'm with peggy - lets all go shit in their yard.

On a serious note - I'm sorry sista, that sounds like the most annoying thing to deal with. Is there any reason why you should have to put up with it? Neighborhood association or anything like that? If not, to hell with them...I'd train the dog to crap in their yard.

Krissi said...

My sides, oh how they hurt!! LMAO!!

MoonNStarMommy said...

they flagged it... I mean come on - I don't have dogs, I have kids, but if one were to poo in my yard I wouldn't FLAG it. Geez. Is their grass made out of gold or something??? Maybe you should steal some and get it chemically analyzed!

~Ronda~ said...

I'm with Funny, on the whole sign idea!! What jerks, I think it's time you come back a little further South my dear where there is a little more Southern hospitality, cuz those nimrods are lacking!!

Anonymous said...

Marked dog crap with flags???

So did you find out why the previous owners left the house you are now in??

Ya know.....revenge is best served cold. In a platter of brownies with your "special ingredients".

Yeah got you thinking now didn't I.....

Just a thought!

Sarah said...

So what do I do about the neighbor whose dog makes it a point to hold it until he gets to my back yard? Do I need to invest in the flag company? I guess this is why they say good fences make good neighbors. You could lock them out!

BeeHappy said...

Wow to your neighbors! OMG to flags! That is unreal.

melanie said...

Who even keeps little orange flags around?!?! Seriously! Do YOU have any laying around in your garage just waiting for the next feces bomb in your yard? I don't think so...

Your neighbors are freaks... nuf said...

rmgales said...

After reading your post, I'm grateful for my neighbors. I don't have animals, and to find dog poop in my yard left me pissed off a few times too.

I certainly had no intentions on mowing over it or flagging it. Instead, I had a civil conversation with both neighbors who cleaned it up.

The one neighbor keeps her dog on a leash now and the other fenced her yard in. We're good friends now who share and look out for each other. Hope everything works out, and I love reading your posts.

BPOTW said...

Just another group that needs OUT of the gene pool!