May 8, 2009

Jackass Neighbor Strikes Again

Did I tell you those pansies called Animal Control and told on us? They did. We were cited (just a warning) for not picking up the dog poop. Even though we did pick up the poop when we were asked to. But a flag as my orders? I don't fucking think so. The officer thought the whole flag thing was insane. She said verbal requests are all you are required respond to and next time he/JN calls about this situation he will be told that Animal Control will not respond unless you are willing to swear in a court of law that you actually saw their dog make that specific pile. We do not respond to domestic tiffs.

She's my new BFF.

THEN! that very evening those petty mother fuckers put up 3 more flags and said nothing. This is after they mowed - though still not around the original flag - so no way could it possibly be hers. I walked over when I knew they were gone and that poop looked like some ankle-biter poop. Lexi's poop is bigger than the dog who made that poop. Rat bastards!

So I bet they think they won cuz they were bad ass enough to sic the puppy police on us. Oops, backfire. Sorry for ya.

As suggested by many of you, I wanted to start flying my own flag in the yard. One bearing my favorite finger or some verbage questioning the size of JN's manhood. Mr nixed that idea, something about being a public official and needing to act as such or some similar nonsense. Whatev. Except that specific position is actually our weapon. Well, he can't use his position to screw them directly, but he makes the recommendations to those who can.

The news just gets better! Now it looks like my husband will be in the position to fuck the Jackass Neighbors twelve ways to Sunday by proxy. He just attended a meeting with the male JN. There was no allusion to the Good vs Evil showdown we are in the midst of but I like to think he walked out of there thinking "why didn't I just pick the shit up! I'm so fucked.".

16 comments:

*Noelle* said...

omg, lmao!! you should totally do that adam sandler thing like in billy madison (i think thats the movie) with the bag of sh#it on his front porch then light it on fire!! LOL it'd be freakin hilarious if her starting stomping on it! (this is my immature side talking right now!) but... i know you could get in trouble for that... hmmm?? maybe melt a bunch of chocolate on his porch on a hot sunny day!!

so sorry that you have such a "shitty" neighbor!! hope i brought some smiles to your day:)

Noelle~

Peggy said...

Dude it's like the Hatfields and the McCoys out there...wtf?

How about a fence?

Have a great weekend!

Peggy said...

I'm gonna leave another comment b/c I want to beat out Stacie up there for biggest comment whore!

WooHoo #1...I'm a little competitive!

Suck it Stacie!!

just kidding!

MoonNStarMommy said...

HA HA HA HA HA ... serves them right, seriously!

Michelle said...

Reading your jackass neighbor saga makes me happy I didn't start crap with our neighbors two down that were loud two nights after my kids were in bed. I contempleted going over there and explaining that my kids are in bed and I can hear them but I figured it would start a fight and since I am in this house for at least 13 more months I decided against it. Lucky for me it hasn't happened since. Maybe the rain kept them inside.

Funny in my mind said...

I am laughing. Your silence will prove to golden. Invest in a privacy fence. A tall one. With electric barbed wire over the top. Shit happens.

Crystal said...

Hahahaha Karma's a bitch! This was a GREAT post. Serves those jackasses right!

~Ronda~ said...

Hmmm, perhaps it could be said best by this, "Karma is a BITCH" to the Jackass Neighbor!! Hehe, still laughing!! I bet Matt is eating it up too!!

melanie said...

You really know how to make friends and influence people... hehe... That is some funny shit...

Devilpup00 said...

We all know how crafty I am and here is what I can do for you. I can sew you your very own flag with a dog poo emblem on it.
Until you get a fence I would suggest getting a leash and walking that dog then picking it up directly. That way there is no mistakes.
Leave it up to you to make enemies within a month. NIce.

Devilpup00 said...

Also this is perfect for you as well...
http://poopsenders.com/

you can choose between cow, elephant, or gorilla

Fresh Mommy said...

Woah.... what goes around comes around!!! Maybe people will learn someday!

:)
~Tabitha~

freshmommyblog.com

Stacie's Madness said...

HEY PEGGY, I'M WAVING MY FAVORITE FLAG AT YOU :)

Karma, karma is a bitch, those JN will get what they deserve.

Krissi said...

Sounds like JN's are getting a little dose of "what goes around, comes around bitches" this entire post plastered one of those effin 409 smiles on my face!

Deb a.k.a.The Invisible Blogger.... said...

Sounds like your neighbors "ass-i-ness" is not just designated to neighbors, surprise, surprise. I am still amazed that their animal control even responded.
Maybe you should leave a pile of Lexi's poop next to the property line with a note saying "This is our Lexi's poop, please use color specific flags for any that look like this,(i.e. green for Lexi, yellow for the other neighbors poodle, etc.), we do not accept responsibility for dogs, cats, and other animals that visit your yard."
Well they must be really P.O.'d after that meeting, oh well what goes around....

Banteringblonde said...

haha this saga gets better all the time!