April 23, 2009


I just spent the last half hour trying in vain to get a lawn care service to come work on our yard. Our yard is the bastard of the neighborhood as it stands right now. The embolism in my husband's head moves a little closer to his brain every time he drives by the cascade of dandelions that grace the front and side yards. I say leave 'em and we can charge people to come take cheesy family pictures laying amongst them but he doesn't appreciate my vision. Whatev.

In this bustling metropolis there are 11 lawn care businesses. 2 didn't answer the phone and didn't have a voicemail. I can't even begin to understand having a business and not at least having a way for someone to leave a message because you didn't answer your business phone! 5 didn't answer but did have a voicemail. A slight improvement over the first 2 but still I didn't leave a message because I can barely articulate what I want done in my head, no way am I gonna ramble on in a voicemail about it only for them to call back and say they couldn't understand me because of my accent and then they ask where I'm from and when I tell them they say they knew it was the south somewhere and then I come through the phone at them because it's only the 17th time I've had that very conversation today. I digress...

The other 4 don't do any mowing.

Wait, what?

A lawn service doesn't mow lawns? It seems to me that needing a lawn mowed might be the number 1 reason one would require a lawn service. Am I way off base here? That's like opening up a hair salon but not giving hair cuts. Maybe I should open up a daycare but not watch children. Fucking hell!
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