March 1, 2009


Kid Sister and I took Aidan, Asher, Jayden, and Julyan to see Coraline on Saturday. We were supposed to meet Lisa and Skylee but I'm somewhat of an idiot. It was only after we walked in to see that the movie started 20 minutes before and searching frantically for Lisa and our saved seats that I realized I had come to the wrong theater. So we watched together by text. Which means they got to see the naked old ladies on the flying trapeze 20 minutes after we picked our jaws up off the floor.

Oh, I'm not even kidding. Fat, very well endowed, very scantily clothed old ladies. And I've been scouring the internet trying to get a picture to post but damn if I could find one. I came upon some nasty shit while searching for "naked fat old ladies", "Coraline naked old ladies", and "naked, fat, trapeze ladies". Can you imagine the searches that will lead the pervs to my blog now?

I've taken Asher to several movies and he's always done really well. This time I count ourselves lucky we weren't politely escorted from the premesis. He threw his pacifier, his cup, his socks - one by one, his blanket, his sucker (I don't want to hear it!) and my cell phone at the poor people behind us. He stood up and squealed and jabbered and grunted and was basically a huge pain in the ass. That shit goes unnoticed at the Tuesday morning dollar show that every daycare in the city shows up to but it didn't go over so well Saturday afternoon.

Anyway, the older kids liked the movie. Jayden covered his eyes a time or two. There were some parts that I could imagine my 5 year old self peeing a little but Aidan watches Monster House and this was no more scary.

So the moral of this story is double check which theater your movie is actually playing at, don't take an 18 month old baby no matter how damn cute he is, and do a little research on the movie beforehand so that fat, naked, flying trapeze ladies don't make you choke on your popcorn.
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