February 23, 2009

My Numbers Are Buggin'

Numbers don't bother me.

Okay, let me clarify... the numbers on my scale bother me, the numbers in my bank account bother me, and the sadly low number of hours I get to spend alone, they bother me.

The numbers I was referring to are my bloggy numbers. Twitter Followers, Statcounter hits, and Blogger Followers. Hell, the Twitter Followers aren't really my problem. I do something completely stupid over there every day so I'm pretty fucking thrilled I haven't been kicked out.

But these Blogger Followers, that number is right there on my Dashboard and I notice when it changes. Then I do one of two things - Go looking for the new follower like I'm hunting Easter Eggs. My new follower is my egg and I hold it and hug it and love it. Or, like today, try like hell to figure out who unfollowed me. I throw myself on the floor kicking and screaming and cursing the mother-trucker who decided I suck all of a sudden. What did I do wrong? It was the Chat post wasn't it? Gimme a break, I can't be brilliant all the time!

And then there are those damn stats! There was a time I checked them with crackhead intensity. The first time I had 100 hits a day I thought I was one step away from fame. I'm quite far from famous. Like it's not gonna happen. The closest I might get is some pedophile celebrity ahem Micheal Jackson looking here to find nekkid pictures of little boys. The number of perverts that read my blog bothers me. I hear you can block them but I don't know how.
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