February 11, 2009

Margaret The Terrible

I came mighty close to punching a woman at Aidan's preschool on Tuesday. Very, very close.

I've ranted endlessly about Aidan's behavior issues, especially the ones that publicly humiliate me. And most especially the ones that get him sent home from the church run preschool. I don't know why it embarrasses me more that he gets in trouble there than it would a public preschool but that's a quirk for another blog.

Stay on topic, Sissy.

On Thursdays a counselor from the local Education Coop comes to work with Aidan. Her name is Jamie and Aidan is just getting used to her and likes her. You can tell because on he bowed up and showed his ass on their last visit. She talked about that being a good thing, that he needs to test her to understand her position in their relationship. I'm thinking, great, we're finally getting somewhere and she doesn't want to instantly commit him. Score!

Then Tuesday happened. I stopped by the school to drop something off and inadvertantly walked into the middle of an incident with Aidan. We calmed Aidan down and I asked what set this one off. His teacher pointed to a pinched faced woman in the corner. Margaret. Margaret The Terrible for purposes of this blog. She is from the Coop and she showed up unannounced and took him out of recess to work with him. There are transition steps that have to be followed with Aidan if you want to get anywhere with him. Jamie knew this. Margaret The Terrible didn't. He of course freaked out on her.

This is where I say emphatically that I am not defending his behavior. However, this behavior is why he is in their program. If he were perfectly behaved, we would have no need for the Coop. He and his behavior issues are the sole purpose for her being there. Which is why seeing that she couldn't be bothered to hide her disgust for him pissed me off to the Nth degree. Here are just a few of the quotes uttered by Margaret The Terrible in the 20 minutes I spent with her. Keep in mind that we've been told by his counselors not to discuss his problems in front of him, certainly not to critique him negatively, and to overly praise him when he does well. Margaret The Terrible obviously wasn't instructed in the same manner.

To Aidan - "I thought you were a smart boy, Aidan, but you're not."

To me - "He can't go to Kindergarten like this, this is ridiculous."

To me - "Yeah, your little one is sweet now but he's watching this…"

And when Asher, the 1 year old! didn't pick up a toy when ordered to - "See, there he goes already."

I can't remember the exact quotes but they included the words brat and spoiled, something wrong with him, and lack of discipline.

The whole time the teacher, Aidan, and I picked up the mess, she sat on a chair and rattled on about how she didn't know anything about him, she hadn't read any of Jamie's notes on him, she had no idea blah blah blah. And then added that I was cleaning everything up, not him, and that's why he acts like this because he knows I'm gonna pick up after him and he knows he's gonna get away with it... as if I never discipline him.

Teacher and I were looking at eachother like, "Is this really happening? Is she serious? Where are the fucking hidden cameras?" Okay, that last bit was only in my uncouth mind but you get the jest. There is so much more but I get so damn angry I could spit.

Honestly, am I overreacting? Is it okay for her to tell him he's not smart? That he's a brat? Is it okay for her to critique my parenting when she didn't even bother to open up a fucking file folder to see why she was going to be seeing a kid? Don't you think someone who so obviously dislikes a kid will be completely ineffective in any sort of therapy situation with that kid? Someone please pacify me by saying Margaret The Terrible is a nasty bitch who shouldn't be working with troubled children.
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