February 11, 2009

Margaret The Terrible

I came mighty close to punching a woman at Aidan's preschool on Tuesday. Very, very close.

I've ranted endlessly about Aidan's behavior issues, especially the ones that publicly humiliate me. And most especially the ones that get him sent home from the church run preschool. I don't know why it embarrasses me more that he gets in trouble there than it would a public preschool but that's a quirk for another blog.

Stay on topic, Sissy.

On Thursdays a counselor from the local Education Coop comes to work with Aidan. Her name is Jamie and Aidan is just getting used to her and likes her. You can tell because on he bowed up and showed his ass on their last visit. She talked about that being a good thing, that he needs to test her to understand her position in their relationship. I'm thinking, great, we're finally getting somewhere and she doesn't want to instantly commit him. Score!

Then Tuesday happened. I stopped by the school to drop something off and inadvertantly walked into the middle of an incident with Aidan. We calmed Aidan down and I asked what set this one off. His teacher pointed to a pinched faced woman in the corner. Margaret. Margaret The Terrible for purposes of this blog. She is from the Coop and she showed up unannounced and took him out of recess to work with him. There are transition steps that have to be followed with Aidan if you want to get anywhere with him. Jamie knew this. Margaret The Terrible didn't. He of course freaked out on her.

This is where I say emphatically that I am not defending his behavior. However, this behavior is why he is in their program. If he were perfectly behaved, we would have no need for the Coop. He and his behavior issues are the sole purpose for her being there. Which is why seeing that she couldn't be bothered to hide her disgust for him pissed me off to the Nth degree. Here are just a few of the quotes uttered by Margaret The Terrible in the 20 minutes I spent with her. Keep in mind that we've been told by his counselors not to discuss his problems in front of him, certainly not to critique him negatively, and to overly praise him when he does well. Margaret The Terrible obviously wasn't instructed in the same manner.

To Aidan - "I thought you were a smart boy, Aidan, but you're not."

To me - "He can't go to Kindergarten like this, this is ridiculous."

To me - "Yeah, your little one is sweet now but he's watching this…"

And when Asher, the 1 year old! didn't pick up a toy when ordered to - "See, there he goes already."

I can't remember the exact quotes but they included the words brat and spoiled, something wrong with him, and lack of discipline.

The whole time the teacher, Aidan, and I picked up the mess, she sat on a chair and rattled on about how she didn't know anything about him, she hadn't read any of Jamie's notes on him, she had no idea blah blah blah. And then added that I was cleaning everything up, not him, and that's why he acts like this because he knows I'm gonna pick up after him and he knows he's gonna get away with it... as if I never discipline him.

Teacher and I were looking at eachother like, "Is this really happening? Is she serious? Where are the fucking hidden cameras?" Okay, that last bit was only in my uncouth mind but you get the jest. There is so much more but I get so damn angry I could spit.

Honestly, am I overreacting? Is it okay for her to tell him he's not smart? That he's a brat? Is it okay for her to critique my parenting when she didn't even bother to open up a fucking file folder to see why she was going to be seeing a kid? Don't you think someone who so obviously dislikes a kid will be completely ineffective in any sort of therapy situation with that kid? Someone please pacify me by saying Margaret The Terrible is a nasty bitch who shouldn't be working with troubled children.


Steph said...

Dude. That bitch would have had the business end of my fucking pimphand about 10 minutes into that nonsense, so I think you showed a lot more restraint than that whore deserved.

I'm absolutely LIVID on your behalf. I can't even imagine. So yes, Margaret is a nasty, nasty bitch who shouldn't be working with hamsters, much less kids, troubled or otherwise.

Kritta22 said...

Oh my goodness! i wanna punch that lady!

She should most definately NOT being working with kids, period!!!!!

You don't EVER, troubled or not, tell a kid he isn't smart. Or say any of that stuff!

You need to call and have her removed from the program you have with Aiden. She obiviously doesn't get it.

He is your son and you can have her not apart of it. Make it happen.

Oh this makes me so mad!

Anonymous said...

So, who is this lady?? Where has she been trained? Is she old? What she did was COMPLETELY inappropriate and should be reported to her supervisor immediately. NO WAY should she have done what she did. I've sat in on many a conference like this and I've watched behavior modification and the counseling sessions. NEVER have I heard or seen someone treat a child like that. You are perfectly justified in the way you feel. I'm gonna hunt the bitch down and beat her myself!!!!!!!!!! How dare she treat my nephew that way. Her ass should be FIRED today.

Anonymous said...

Definitely not okay.

No jokes - I think a calm phone call to her boss is totally warranted. She should absolutely not be assigned to him again at the very least.

Cant Hardly Wait said...

Wow. I'm positive she needs to lose her job. Like, now. People working in her business need to have patience, and need to learn how POSITIVE REENFORCMENT works. what a douche bag she is!

Unknown said...

I think that the way she expressed it, in front of him was TOTALLY unprofessional. Sounds like she needed a big fat time out and then you could bitch slap her.

Brightfish said...

As a teacher, I have to say...I am appalled at her behavior! I hope to God you pursue the matter with her supervisor and stand up for the rights of your child and all the other children she is thrown on like a rabid dog. I am very glad to hear that his teacher seems to be on the same page as you and was there for the incident as a witness. Good luck!

Ariel said...

I totally agree with all the comments before me. She was way out of line, she should - at the very least - be fired but a good punch in the mouth would probably be more appropriate. Sorry you both had to go through that. What a skank.

April said...

Everyone seems to agree but I'll say it again. What she said was the worst thing you could say to any child and it should be reported to her supervisor immediately!
What restraint you have. I either would have jumped all over her verbally or have just been in too much SHOCK to say or do anything. I'm guessing you were in shock.
And yes, she is a nasty nasty bitch who shouldn't be allowed to work with ANY children!

Sarah said...

Oh Yeah! I'd be blowing up the coop phone on this one! How could they send an aide who obviously didn't bother to take the time to know the child she was supposed to work with? Aidan was right! I would have lost my mind on her too! I'm so proud of you for not punching her in the head and snatching her bald. You did way better than I would have.

Alicia @ Oh2122 said...

Holy cupcakes...

REPORT HER! ASAP! Please, you are so not overreacting. Margaret's not Terrible. Margaret's a Bitch who should not be working with kids.

Now it's time for her to be Margaret the Unemployed Bitch.

A Gilmore Girls Fan said...

Totally uncalled for, ugly, and just plain not OK. How dare her say that about your son at all, but especially infront of him. What is she thinking? Something needs to be done about that. You are nicer than me, because if it were me . . . I would have said, "May I speak to you a moment in private?" and then ripped her a new one for ever saying that about my son and infront of my son. I can be tacky when mad, though, I blaim my latin Mamma. hehe

Evolving Mommy Catherine said...

Margaret The Terrible is a nasty bitch who shouldn't be working with troubled children. I am in shock here. They allow this woman to work with children? You NEVER tell a child their not smart! How did you hold it together? I hope there is a superior that you can speak to about her behavior.

Funny in My Mind said...

First of all, she needs to be turned in to her boss for the way she spoke to you and your son.
You can also put her in her place (if there is a next time) by saying to your son "sweetie, you are smart, don't worry about the rude woman speaking nasty to us, she is an angry whoreface who needs to get laid by a rusty chainsaw.." oh, I got off target, I meant to say that differently but the anger in m,e came out. Find out where she lives and put dog poo on her porch. That is the only mature thing to do.
Or, get her number and post it here and we will take care of the rest

Jen said...

you should report her and get her off him case. She should not be allow near him again!

CynthiaK said...

Awful. Absolutely does not deserve to be working with children. Or adults. Or living things of any kind.

I think you should speak with the head of the coop and demand she cease working with Aidan and request that she be force do some "therapy" of her own.

What a nut! So sorry that Aidan (and you) had to experience that.

Jenni said...

TOTALLY unacceptable. It is so inappropriate and unprofessional of her to make comments like that, and if I were you, I would find out who her boss is and give him or her a call. Sounds to me like she has no business working with children. He's not even mine, but I want to punch her, too!

~aj~ said...

My jaw is just sitting here on the floor. I really, really hope that you will report this woman. I honestly don't know how you controlled yourself (especially knowing you as I do...ha!).

My heart just broke when I realized Aidan heard her say those things. I know he is a handful, but I seriously want you to bring him to my house so I can give him some lovin' and tell him how smart, funny, silly and wonderful he is. I hope it was one of those things that just went in one ear and out the other.

If not, maybe you should find out where she lives, stalk her house to see when she leaves, break in and then let Aidan have his way with everything inside. Sweet revenge!!!

Jenners said...

You have every right in the world to be angry with her. Unbelievable. She should not be working in this type of job.

Krissi said...

OMG! That is awful, what a horrible woman! Please tell me by now you've managed to have her fired???

Michelle said...

I would have been pissed! If she wanted to discuss this with you privately fine but not in front of either of your children! Since she is working with Aidan because of his behavioral problems she should've done her homework instead of just getting pissed.

~Ronda~ said...

First of all, knowing you Amanda, I want to know how you kept from jack~slapping that stupid bitch right in front of Aidan?? How dare her, she doesn't even know him!! Anyone with any sense knows that you never ever speak to a child like that, shit like that causes self esteem issues for years to come! Please tell me that she has now raised our unemployment rate just a notch higher since then! The odacity?