I have made a wonderful discovery today. I now know how to make Asher leave me alone.
Now, don't get your knickers in a bunch, I provide all of his needs. He doesn't need to suck down my sweet tea like he just got in from a hike in the Sahara. Simply telling him 'no' only results in high pitched squealing, rapid stomping, and more often that not, a good kick to my shins.
Apparantly all it takes to send him running is to pull out a tissue and threaten to wipe the oil slick of snot that constantly runs from his nose. This is fantastically useful information!