January 21, 2009

The Big Post About Nothing

I'm notorious for my impulsiveness. I have zero patience. If I see something I want, there is nothing that can convince me that the three bucks I'd save if I shopped around is worth giving up that instant gratification. I'm somewhat of a spoiled brat in that way. Take it up with my husband.

This theme carries over into anything I get in my head. I decide I want to redecorate a room and thoughts of nothing else will consume me. Right now, I'm way low on blog funny. I've got nothing. And so, the customary blog post about having nothing to post. Jesus, I'm such an unoriginal dope.

Alas there is a twist! The reason I have no funny in me is that I'm consumed with this elusive move. And also I should probably spend less time on the internet.

Let's start with #1. I should delete everything. Blogs, MySpace, Facebook, Twitter... even Webkinz. But that would be mean because technically the Webkinz is Aidan's but somehow manages to suck my time. The time I spend, it's ridiculous. I wonder if my kids know what my face looks like without a laptop covering the bottom half.

The #2 mind-fuck I've got going on is this moving thing. I don't want to leave my friends and my familiar place but if it's happening, then HAPPEN ALREADY! My husband is gone, we can't sell our house and even if we could, we're gonna lose our asses on it. It's infuriating. Tell me again exactly where that $700 Billion Bailout went? Because unless you just stop paying your mortgage all together, they've got "no programs available" which is just code for "tough shit".

Everything is contingent upon moving. I'll start working out again after we move. I'll keep the new house clean. I'll bother with make-up and a hair brush when we get moved.

Before the comments start flowing - yes, I know that in this economy we are lucky to have such a problem. This is my blog and I'll bitch if I want to.

So, there ya go. In the midst of an unfunny, nothing to blog about because I have issues dryspell, you get this begging for the zoloft post. Sorry for ya.


Kritta22 said...

It totally must have been a dude, wanting to look at porn, while on the plane with his mother, that invented that pock-sock! (How's that for a run-on sentence??)

Anyway I heard about that stupid program thing. One of my friends up here is trying to sell their house in Utah and was told that if they didn't make a house payment for a few months they could get into this program to sell their house.

Well they ended up not being able to get into the program and now they are late four months on their house payment!!!!

What is this freaking world coming to!

Jen said...

Please don't go. I know I don't comment here very much but I do LOVE reading what you write. I need my dose.
Speaking of dose, take an extra Zoloft and things will look better in the morning.

Alicia @ Oh2122 said...

I have an eff it all moment about once a week. I tell myself I need less blogs, but then who would I stop reading? And what if I miss someone really cool? OMG! MUST. KEEP. ADDING. FEEDS.

Oy. And I have "As Soon As ABC Happens, I'll XYZ" syndrome too. Let's start a foundation. I'll bring the ribbons. Plaid ok?

I'll start just as soon as I clear my reader, cool?

Unknown said...

I've been in the "husband already went, but I cant move and take the kids and the dogs and the shit till the house sells in this stupid, stagnant, blood sucking housing market" boat so I can say I know it REALLLLLY SUCKS! But one day, we finally got the call and the house was sold (for $50,000 less than it was worth)and we are finally in our new house, with our kids and our dogs and our shit and there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Yours will come too, hang in there!!!!!

Crystal said...

I know I'm such a lurker and never comment - sorry. Even though I don't comment, I've read every post since I happened upon your blogs. You are hilarious. And honest. I think that's why I like reading what you write. Keep this blog. Use it to vent. Don't delete the other stuff, just don't use it, it will still be there when you're ready to go back to it. I understand the shit you're dealing with, and at the risk of sounding trite, I'm gonna say hang in there, it will get better. I don't know if you really are taking antidepressants or not, but if not, you might want to. Seriously. They help. Just till you get through with the moving/not moving shit.

Krissi said...

Damn I'm glad you are weak! What would I do without some funny in my life?? Or some un-funny for that matter :) Thanks for the comment you left about my good news :) It actually made me smile!

April said...

I talked to those people about refinancing my house (it's owner financed now) and they said "Tough shit, we don't do Texas." I guess they hate Bush along with so many others.
Anyway, I really enjoy reading your blogs and hope you continue. You could just get rid of facebook and myspace and keep ME happy.
Good luck with the house!!!!

Anonymous said...

Keep the blog. I'd miss you if you left. It's so much fun.

I have a facebook account, but I only check it about once a week. But I love blogging. I never started twitter because I'm pretty sure my life is too boring for anybody to need that much info.

Unknown said...

omg that thing is hidieous...and I kinda want one. LOL

I think that you are NORMAL *gasp* we all have "spells" of not funny (if we are even funny to begin with) and spells of giving it all up...(or maybe not)

so I just want to say, you are funny even with you think you aren't and I hope ya get through the funk!

Anonymous said...

I love your blogs, please stay. You are a sanity saver for me. :)

Anonymous said...

omfg... I have GOT to have the headsock!!!! That is the geekiest f'ing thing I have ever seen in my life... and I've been to the conventions...

#1... just walk away from the computer for a while... don't do anything drastic that you might regret later... lord knows... they track your IP and you are OVER... no more free accounts for you, little missy! I can just hear them now... "It's that crazy b*tch that keeps making new accounts and then deleting them three months later!" BLOCK HER IP! QUICK!!!

#2 - Can't help you there... got some lexapro but I think they are expired...

Anonymous said...

Yeah, I get what you are sellin', my friend... Don't do it. Back away from the computer... For at least two days.

I did delete my Myspace shit. I do have FB, but don't use it often... But, the blogs are my sanity. S.T.A.Y.

And, I'm having a beer for you now. That makes you feel sooo much better, doesn't it? No? Well, it makes me feel better. Much.

Ordie O. said...

I totally get the wishing you weren't exposed (albeit self-exposure) on the internet but it being too late thing. I keep getting this feeling someday I'm going to be the last choice on Momma's Boys, or some kind of competition like that, and think I have it in my pocket and then at the last minute find out they've got a file of all my blogs and I'm suddenly screwed. Or something.

Ordie O. said...

And, oddly enough I too have just had an epiphany regarding my time disappearing in large chunks on the internet. But, that being said, you can't just decide to cut out blogs, especially a really entertaining one like your's are. That would be making decisions for the rest of us who need your blogging and not a watered down, Grandma suitable blog but your real, honest, f--king brand of blog. I implore you (is that the right word? Suddenly it seems like "implode" you). Don't quit and take away our reason for getting up in the mornings (or afternoons).

Willnnabel said...

I wish you luck with the house sale thing, although here is where I tell you we have been listed a "year" and nothing, nada, zip. The Banks are sitting on the funds,because they fear being taken over by the government if they back what might be considered risky loans (like every "loan", what with the crappy jobs market out there), like they did to Fanny Mae, AIG, etc. at least thats the story I am getting. What a joke the whole "bailout" is/was wahtever. Do not delete your blog, I do not have the others, just this, and I like your rants. Well, because I like to rant now and then and support fellow "rant-ies".
Yeah I think instead of "Rock-on" like my kids say my creedo will be "Rant-ON".