December 20, 2008

Not Necessary

Aidan has a TV in his room.
So he has this TV and all of the buttons are pushed in and broken except the Power and Volume Up. Every damn day he uses a broom or toy gun to turn the volume up. And then Daddy has to reprogram one of the other remote controls to turn it back down.
It's an almost daily occurrence and it really pisses us off. Last night I turned the TV on so he could watch a movie and it was blaring. So I just punched out the Volume Up button. No more of that shit! I look down at Aidan and he's got this disgusted look on his face. He puts his hands on his hips and the lecture begins. 
"Mama, why did you just break the TV? What is wrong with you? That wasn't necessary!" 
Then when Daddy came back in with the remote the ass-chewing continued.
"Daddy, it's not necessary for adults to tear up TVs."   
Oh really, Aidan? You wanna talk about what's not necessary? By all means, let's do that.
It's not necessary to relentlessly hijack the keys and try to get into rooms that are locked to you. They are off limits for very good reasons. Back off! 
It's not necessary to demand corn dogs or chicken nuggets for every meal. Variety is the spice of life. Eat a damn fish stick or something! 
It's not necessary to stockpile Christmas decorations in your room. Leave my Nutcrackers alone! 
It's not necessary to head-butt your brother in his stomach. When he loses the ability to breath for a few seconds, it's not a good thing. Eventually he is gonna get big enough to kick your ass. Be nice! 
It's not necessary to divide all of your small toys into individual sandwich baggies. It's wasteful and I'm sick of digging them out of your brother's throat. Knock it off! 
And finally, it's not necessary to fall onto the floor crying, kicking, and screaming when you've simply been asked to pick up your toys. I think you have too many toys so I'm just looking for an excuse to thin them out. Watch yourself!

12 comments:

April said...

I guess you scared off anonymous (or they just don't have anything say anymore!). Love this post!!!!

Jen said...

you tell him!

~Ronda~ said...

Hilarious!! Love it!! Let's all gang up on ANON and find out who the hell it is..yes, it, he/she/ they? LOL

Idiosynkrasia said...

hahaha. when it comes right down to it...you will be victorious.

for what it's worth - all my kids have tv's in their room. guess that makes both of us crappy parents.

Anonymous said...

Oh, God, the bags of crap. The. Bags. Of. Crap.

I'm so there with you. At least you have a boy. My daughter has about 5,437 purses shoved full of junk mail, Barbie shoes, and hair things. Joy.

Anonymous said...

It's good to hear from a mom who doesn't pretend to be perfect.

I'm really tired of stories of perfect scrapbooks, cloth diapers and homemade baby food.

This is my first visit - fun blog.

Jenners said...

You are a terrible mother. To let your child have a TV in his room -- and to play with guns -- is abominable. I am going to report you. You suck.

Oh wait...I'm not Anonymous. I LOVE your blog and your parenting skills...they are what you need in the real world, people! Where the kids are a little bit nuts and must be molded into normal people. Bravo for you!

Hey -- I play on the Playstation with my 4-year-old...that can't be good, right?

Red Headed Mama said...

OMG, I so could have written that entire conversation about my Aiden.

Evolving Mommy Catherine said...

Here, here!

Stacie said...

ha, this is great, I could come up with a list of unneccessaries too!

taaurus said...

I don't see ANON'S comment; did you erase it? Oh, well...from your comment & all the other comments; I probably would not have agreed either. My kids have ALWAYS had a TV in their rooms. If they didn't; I would have been subjected to watching Barney & Blue's Clues ALL day, EVERY day! Nothing wrong with a TV in their room! I bet ANON would have keeled over dead if they knew that my son actually has TWO TV's in his room right now; one for TV and one for video games! One of his TV's has broken buttons too; so he uses a programmed remote for everything. My only comment for you is: why didn't you program a remote for him to KEEP in his room specifically for said broken TV?

taaurus said...

Oh, and btw: I ran across your blog last night through another blog that I found through another blog and so on and so on...I've been reading your blog, with a small nap overnight, since last night. Except for the hunting stores (I'm just about a PETA spokeswomen but I don't push my beliefs on anyone) I think your my long-lost sister! I just haven't left a comment before now but there are a lot of other comments I wanted to leave (nice comments; don't be scared!)and I will slowly get there! Reading your blog has made me want to get my own blog - though I have no idea how to do it!