December 22, 2008

Not In The Spirit

I'm having a hell of a time getting into the Christmas spirit. And by a hard time I mean it's virtually impossible. Here are a couple of the reasons why.

I'm growing to hate my neighborhood. You remember that my parent's car was stolen from in front of our house, right? We've had our mailbox kicked down by little punk-ass teenagers, our house and cars egged, pumpkins stolen from our porch, a major drug raid (SWAT and all) on a house down the street and now someone stole our recycling bins! Merry Christmas, hu? Who steals recycling bins?

If I have to go to Wal-Mart one more time I'm going with C4 strapped to my chest. I don't ever want to see the inside of that place as long as I live. You wanna see a lack of Christmas spirit, go check out Wal-Mart right now. You'll get your throat cut for your parking spot and little old ladies are throwing down in the baking aisle over the last package of yeast.

The best I can hope for this year is for the turkey fryer to malfunction and burn our house down.

Bah-humbug!
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