November 5, 2008

The Ambien Diaries

I've seen blogs where people write only when on Ambien. They're both hysterical and disturbing at the same time. I started taking Ambien to sleep after Anna died in 2006. It was easy. I immediatly felt utterly calm and drifted off to sleep without a hole in my soul. Most of the time. A quickly found that I sometimes wake up in the night and complete tasks of which I have no memory. Cleaning the bathrooms, doing all of the dishes in the house by hand, and other wierd stuff. My favorite, and most disturbing, Ambien induced incident was when I woke up one morning to an email from a pharmacy in Canada confirming my order for 300 Ambien tablets. Oh yes, I got online, found some shady company that would send me 300 Ambien tablets without a prescription from a doctor or even a telephone call to the client. They got pretty pissed when I denied the order and cancelled. Yes, I suppose I made the order but I was essentially sleepwalking. In the light of day I could just get samples from my doctor if I needed them. Did I almost break some kind of Federal law or something? That kinda scared the shit out of me.


In case you can't tell, I just took my Ambien but didn't go right to sleep. In my Ambien haze I thought I'd blog. Bet your ass I jerk this son of a bitch off here when I wake up. Ambien is like an emotional stomach pump for me. I'll tell all kinds of shit I'd never tell "sober". It's mortifying. I've learned to keep my ass away from my cell phone and email after I take it. That rule should totally apply to blogging too but apparently... So enjoy the view into my insanity while it's out there. Cuz I'll deny it like hell later.

Nite nite!

9 comments:

April said...

My Mom got a script (from HER doc) and I just happend to be at her house that night. She took it thinking it would take a while for it to kick in (and had not eaten all day) and got really stupid really fast. I mean drunk off your ass stupid. My Dad kept asking me "What did you give her?" all pissed off and I could only laugh and say that it wasn't me, but her own doc that gave it to her. He had the last laugh though when I was holding her hair that night (so she could puke). And no, I have NEVER given my Mom anything so I don't know why he asked me that.

Sarah said...

I steer clear of all pain meds and sleep aids for that very reason. My body doesn't process any of it very well and I'm a small person. Things get ugly fast!!

Mama's Losin' It said...

Sounds like FUN!!! Hook a mother up!

Mama's Losin' It said...

I went searching for Anna on your blog. I found her. And now I'm crying. Dammit all. I'm so sorry. I can't even begin to imagine what that was like for you. It's every mothers worst nightmare to be forced to say goodbye to a baby...I'm so sorry.

Jen said...

I took Ambien through my whole pregnancy with the triplets. But I don't think that I did anything silly or crazy. Just slept. Maybe its b/c I was so big that I could not move.

Posey said...

Oh! My doc gave me AmbeinCR, after trying several others. I don't think I ever slept walk/blog/call, but once I was awake, I was completely nuts. Now, I do without pills and sleep.

CynthiaK said...

Hard to know which is worse - the inability to get sleep or find out what antics you were up to during the night when on the pills!

I hadn't read before about your little angel. Wow. Don't even know what to say since I'm sure you've heard it all. I'm going to give my wee ones a big hug right now.

Danielle Coleman said...

I lovee ambien

Danielle Coleman said...

It's harder to read stuff while on ambein, than it is to type this, maybe not, I don't know, but blog away, I love it!