November 23, 2008

Twilight - A Review

I am now complete and whole. I can die tomorrow and say I've lived. I've seen Twilight. I joined millions of feverishly texting, Team Edward T-shirt wearing, angst-ridden, swooning teenage girls (and the teenage boys trying to get into their pants) and stood in an insane line for an insane amount of time to see a book I love come to life.

My husband is thoroughly enjoying the opportunity to tease me about reading a "teenageer" book. I'm gonna let him have his fun for about another 6 minutes and then I'm gonna get to work on collecting his life insurance.

The local news story on opening night explaining to parents what their kids are so excited about got him started and he hasn't stopped. Sometimes you just gotta put a rabid dog down. Seeing a movie based on a beloved book is essentially begging for disappointment. I know this. But I loved the movie. Loved it. Mostly...

I do have some bitches constructive criticism.

I cannot see how someone who didn't read the books could "get it" just by seeing the movie. I know it's impossible to really capture the book on film but it makes my heart hurt a little to think some people will only experience Twilight at the theater. You're missing out! Pick up the book and read it, you lazy ass!

Oh, and Jasper kinda freaked me out a little.

I'm pretty sure I sparkle more than Edward did. Wasn't it described as millions of diamonds glimmering brilliantly or something in the book? I saw no diamonds.

Robert Pattinson still isn't "my" Edward but he'll do in a pinch. I mean, my eyes weren't bleeding from looking at him for 2 hours or anything. I'd gladly probably suffer through it again.

Rosalie, Rosalie, Rosalie... Could they not write anything for you other than Rosalie scowls at Bella, Rosalie glaring in background, and Rosalie smashes glass bowl and says "That's just great!"? I needed you to be the bitch you were written to be, not just a mean-face maker. Although you really are good at that.

So there it is. My ooohhh's and aaahhh's of the movie. 
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