November 2, 2008

These Never Gets Old

You'd think I'd run out of weird things about myself but I'm truly twisted, I can do these for days.

1. I hate warm chocolate chip cookies. My husband bakes them fresh and as he eats his hot out of the oven, mine are in the freezer. It breaks his heart a little everytime I make him do it.

2. I still haven't picked up that dead bug in Aidan's closet.

3. I have no intention of going back to work. While I thoroughly enjoyed having a job where I could utilize my love for profanity against people who definately deserved it (as proof by their prison record), I'm lazy. I don't want to have to do anything everyday.

4. I don't like people. Seriously, it's a damn wonder I have any friends. People irritate me and I have a hard time sensoring myself. How anyone puts up with my never-ending rash of shit is beyond me. I consider it a miracle of God that someone married me.

5. I think my fingers are fat. And I obsess about it. I am totally serious when I say I would get liposuction on my fingers before my ass.

6. Daylight Savings Time blows my mind. I'm screwed up for weeks and I can't get it straight in my head. If I think about it too hard... See, I can't even explain it.

7. Sometimes when Asher cries in the night I get him up just to watch him walk around the house all delusional. It's hysterical! As if he had any coordination fully awake, watching him bumble around half-asleep is fantastic! I stop just short of waking him up on purpose for entertainment value when I'm bored.


Sarah said...

I don't put my cookies in the freezer but I can't eat them warm. They make me nauseous if I eat them warm.

Anonymous said...

My God, Amanda. You are just hysterical. Making fun of the way that baby walks when he's half asleep. And liposuction on fingers?