November 6, 2008

Suck Me a Hickey

Do you remember hickeys? I totally forgot about hickeys until today! I sat in a waiting room across from a barely 20 year old girl with a neck full of disgusting suck sores. It was essentially a horny teenager belt of blaring purple blemishes. Gross! Why would you not cover that up? It took me all of about 4 seconds to google ways to cover them up. So since it's obvious you lack the hormone control to not let someone suck a fucking bruise onto your neck, here's what I found on eHow.

1Put ice on it right away. The hickey will diminish in appearance if you use ice on it soon after your make out session.

2Use green concealer. This type of makeup can be bought at any drugstore and will
completely hide the hickey or at least make it less noticeable. Neutrogena manufactures a green cream concealer that can work wonders.

3Apply a thick layer of foundation
. Blend the foundation into your entire neck area and top with some powder. Use a shade that is slightly darker than your complexion. Use a lower cost brand like Maybelline or Cover Girl since you may need to use a lot.

4Keep your hair down. If you have long hair
you can hide the hickey by keeping your hair parted to the side that the hickey is on.

5Wear a scarf or turtleneck. If you happen to get the hickey in colder months, you are in luck since you will be able to use clothing to cover it up.

Trust me, Hickey Girl, getting a hickey doesn't show the world that some Prince Charming loves you, it says "some boy with a boner took me for a slut and all I got was this lousy hickey".

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