November 13, 2008

More Of The Same

Again, Aidan has been sent home from preschool. He goes two days a week. He gets sent home two times a week.

What. The. Fuck.

I don't know what to do. I'm at the end of my rope and starting to fashion a noose. I wish I had a tranqualizer gun and I'd just shoot him when he starts throwing his fit.

You don't understand. I can vividly explain each and every detail of insanity that goes on when he loses it like that but you do not understand until you see it firsthand. You think, "yeah, he's a brat. He throws a huge fit. That's awful.". Then you actually see it and you say, "Holy shit! That kid is out of control. How do we stop him? He's gonna kill someone. Someone help!". Then you run away crying because it's that fucking bad.

He's been to counseling. 6 months of her watching him play. The one time he threw the kind of fit we were there to fix she looks at me and asks, "What do we do?". No shit. I decided she wasn't helping us and we quit throwing away $200 a week.

The public schools here have an Education Coop where they provide hearing, vision, speech, and behavorial therapy free of charge. It's no suprise the director of his preschool referred Aidan. Before they can start behavorial therapy they must rule out vision, hearing, speech, etc problems. You can imagine how the testing went. They referred us out for his hearing test. It's a miracle of God we got it done. I know he can hear since he repeats everything I mumble under my breath. I know he can talk because I listen to his smart ass mouth every single day. I know he can see because he can spot a candy bar in my purse from 10 yards. Trust me, a hearing aid or glasses isn't gonna help. It'll only give him something else that costs a fortune to break.

After Tuesday's incident - which included property damage as well as kicking his teacher hard enough to leave a bruise - I called the coop to say, "You have to help me with this now. Can we just start on working on a plan dealing with his behavior?". The coop spoke with the director and decided she would videotape his next fit for them so they can see it up close and personal. So today it starts to go south and I'm waiting for her to whip out the video camera. She never does. He kicked his teacher again and I got the look that says come get him now. I'm wondering what the hell is going on. Then she tells me she needs my permission to tape him. Are you fucking kidding me?!?! Obviously I'm on board with this! Fucking Hell!!!

I just took every single toy out of his bedroom. His TV comes down out of his room when Daddy gets home. No playing with friends. No Webkinz. No whatever the hell else I can think of to take away from him. I couldn't very well beat his ass right there in the church run preschool, they'd probably frown on that. I don't know what else to do. And he's not even bothered by any of it. He will tell me exactly what he did wrong and why he's losing everything and he's perfectly logical and reasonable about the whole thing. What else can I do? I don't want him to take medication but this can't continue. At this point, bring on the meds. I take them, which is probably why he's still alive. I guess it's just time to admit defeat. I surrender. A four year old boy runs my life and I am powerless to change it.

14 comments:

Kritta22 said...

He doesn't run your life!
Seriously I'm all for meds. I take them. It's why I'm alive. There's just some people/kids that need a little help. If you lived out in the middle of no where, on a farm where he come throw his fits and not hurt thing but a cow (who will kick him right back), I'd say no. But we have kids that HAVE to deal with other people. Heck you might even enjoy the little bugger after!

Ordie O. said...

Diet, like we talked about. Do it. It works.

Heather, Queen of Shake Shake said...

First off, as corny as cyber hugs are, let me give them to you.

I know first hand how fucking hard that kind of shit is. To sit and watch your child go bat-shit crazy and neither you nor anyone else knows what to do. Hard doesn't even describe it.

I think 4 is extra hard because the toddler years are behind and you think things(behavior) should be getting better, only shit! they aren't getting any better.

There are so many things I could share in the comments, but that would require a novel-length comment. Feel free to email me at mama2mypps (at) gmail dot com if you want to vent with someone who's BTDT. My wild boy is 8 now, so I might even have a tip or two in hindsight.

April said...

I feel for you. I have know idea what I would do in that situation. I still say, check to medal in his blood.

Krissi said...

Wow that little shit! And I mean that with as much love as I can muster, of course. So now are they saying that they have to wait for another fit next week to be able to tape it and then you have to wait till the coop sees it? That's just BS as far as I am concerned... I say bring me that boy and I'll whip him into shape.... (ok that sounded oh so bad ass, and I am sure he could kick my ass in on fail swoop but I'd give it a try if I thought it would help you out honest I would)!!

Jessica said...

I just don't know, sis. Umm... just do EVERYTHING those people tell you. I wouldn't be so quick to think they're going to put him on meds, if they do you should get a second opinion. Other than that, I feel for ya, sis!! Love ya!! Hang in there!!

Idiosynkrasia said...

Shae used to throw fits like that. I would just hold her down every time, she'd want to trash her room and hit me and hit her sister and I would sit her on the floor and wrap my arms and legs around her so that she couldn't move. She'd try to headbutt me, gotta watch out for that one. But eventually she'd exhaust herself and when she was done I would still be there holding her. Not that this method will work for Aidan. I'm just sharing that you're not alone. When my kid acted like that I felt like an epic failure - but she turned out to be a pretty great kid despite it. Just do what you feel is best. Any form of therapy you try can always be stopped if it seems it's causing harm or not working. You'll get through this mama.

Jenni Jiggety said...

Oh, mannnn. I wish I had some pearls of wisdom for you. Is the pediatrician of any help here, or notsomuch?

CynthiaK said...

Wow, I have absolutely no advice to offer but I am definitely going to keep following this story as you go through it. My middle child, who is 3 now, is a terror-in-waiting. He's poised to wreak havoc soon. I'll be watching your success (and you will have success - I have faith!) so I can learn what to do when the ball drops for me!
Good luck.

Anonymous said...

Jiggety - the pedi sent us to the first therapist. he doesn't seem concerned - cuz he doesn't have to deal with his crap every day. bet he'd find a fix if I sent Aidan to live with him for about 2 seconds :)

Lisa said...

Wow! I have to agree with some of the other comments and say that I would try to avoid the medication. Any time you see that sort of behavior you have to consider that food allergies can make kids CRAZY.

Candida overgrowth can cause behavioral problems as well. Good luck. They DO outgrow it eventually no matter what.

~aj~ said...

I know how frustrated and concerned you are about this. I hope that the Co-op is able to help.

For what it's worth, I still think Aidan is a sweetie.

~Ronda~ said...

Ok, for me to admit this for millions to see is my first step, lol. However, my mom will tell you that I acted just like this as a kid, Imagine that, huh? She took me to dr's and therapists, etc, and they all wanted to put me on Ritalin, etc. Then she found a more homeopathis dr who told her to take me off all sweets, and red meat, that I could only eat, natural sugars, like fruits, etc. Chicken, veggies, you get the drift. She swears that within a week I was a totally different kid, so it's a thought!! Keep me posted!!

~aj~ said...

The fact that his diet *could* be contributing to these fits is really interesting to me. Have you talked to his doctor about that being a possibility?