Dear Punk Who Stole My Father's Car,
You are an asshole. Karma is a bitch.
I'm totally not kidding! Some little bastard jacked my father's car from in front of our house. It's time for them to load up and head home, they go outside and... no car. Some prick stole it, took everything in it, hit a parked van, and left it in the road barely a mile from here. So we spent the day filing police reports, contacting insurance, springing the car from impound, and taking inventory of all the missing stuff.
And guess what? If your car is stolen and ends up in police impound, you get to pay to get it out. Bet your ass the police report won't be ready anytime soon though, so good luck getting replacement medications or registration papers.
What a royal pain in the ass!